The third installment teaches us a lesson formulated in a bygone era for many if not, historically, all cultures past and present.

Women are the true keepers of the flame. What we understand to be mixed gender culture and religions, men were the hunters. Someone had to stay home to be the gatherers. Women, we learned, gathered the richness of their respective environments such as woods and forest to gather herbs and food to complement what men brought back from the hunt. Women also gathered their children, their soul sisters, and their children to develop socialization, cooperation, and history.

History rich with stories were told, written, and drawn to carry on traditions. Caves provided security until the tribe(s) learned new, creative means to relocate outside the confines of the cave. Maintaining and keeping the flock together from predators is a rich historical tradition sent and brought down throughout generations. People learned, therefore, how to live not only within family, but also with others from the same tribe. As they spread their proverbial wings, new stories emerged and were passed down through each generation. Over time, people began to integrate to associate. The challenge of doing so harmoniously and peacefully was set up. At the soul of each challenge was survival. The only way to continue stories, therefore, history was to both share intra-familial and inter-familial.

Though difficult to support completely, women were the originators of story. Yes, men, too, followed suit by writing history. Art and music were introduced as major relevant components of the story. History is rich with those traditions and rituals followed by progress. People became mobile. They explored and searched for homes. Home could be anywhere. When moving about, which may encompass hundreds, even thousands of miles, someone had the responsibility of “keeping the flame burning.” Giving recognition to many women, in most cultures, were the historians. They passed on means of survival. What kept us alive must be credited to women. It’s not clear who specifically were the historians. Who were the teachers? Who taught survival techniques? Yes, while we men deserve recognition, we cannot take it all.

History teaches us about the challenges of living amongst other tribes in harmony. Unsettling disputes that did not track harmony sometimes lead to disharmony. In some cases, disputes were not reconciled. Therefore, some found a means to extinguish the flame. Sometimes, not allowing for each one’s history to evolve, set up generations whose history carried the torch of disharmony and disengagement. Some who carried this disharmony found themselves at a loss for security they once bathed in. Bringing one’s own tribe into the fray interrupted the opportunity not only to live well within marked difficulties, but it also created a disharmony they may not have owned. Some carried a grievance too far and enjoined anyone who would side with them. Disharmony is hard to contain. A conflict may have arisen from a myriad source, a slight dispute over interrelationships and often by a power grab. Power grabs may have been seeded via subsets of religion, race, and/or culture. Their perceived differences alone may have been solvable. However, once they obtained greater power through trying to enforce their own shared differences, wars began.

When wars start, those in power with economic support hire armies of followers who alone may not share in the perceived real or unreal grievance. You’ve got to take that power away from those who misuse and abuse it. The histories of war around the globe include relatively low economic status for soldiers, including today. At the present time, the oppressed sources of violence are toward women. The harsh reality has historically demonstrated a misguided belief that women can be abused and violated sexually, physically, mentally, and emotionally without consequence or accountability.

Women carry and nurture their babies; women are the first to offer sustenance to their children. Women who bring family together, who carry the rich traditions of their respective race, religion, and culture are physically afflicted by the violations. The anger, moreover, the rage, inflicted upon women in war carries generational conflicts. It’s true, women’s grievances, at times, carry a burden of conflict, which offers no solace to their offspring.

Women have had to be alone all too often when violated. To reach out to others comes with a powerful dose of shame and powerlessness. How does a woman reconcile that horrific infliction? Men have returned from wars with what we have learned is an emotional and physical downside of a mental impact called PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). It is very difficult to treat without endless spiritual debilitation and men suffer greatly. Women who are violated during war (other times not in war) suffer mistrust of others as an extension of powerlessness, shame, and yes, guilt. They, too, lead a life with a PTSD insignia upon their psyche.

How shameful that some people who are in power, politically, economically, and yes, tragically religiously place undue burden upon women. For generations, women have sought help professionally. Not a secret that many professionals are women, the healers of generations before us. Historians will tell stories of courage of women who continued their lives, albeit violated, to tell their own harsh story.

A movie I often recommend to clients called “soul food” depicts a family matriarch, a grandmother, while overseeing her not so perfect family is raising her grandsons. Food, the lifeblood many women literally bring to the table, is the soul that this woman’s passing consequentially offers to the family. I will not reveal the ending. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Marshall Greenstein holds a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling and is a licensed marriage and family counselor and a licensed mental health counselor in New York state. He has regular office hours at 415 E. Sixth St., Jamestown, and can be reached at 484-7756. For more information or to suggest topics, email editorial@post-journal.com.