There are a variety of things that can cause a person to become anxious. Anxiety is quite common in children but can present very differently from child to child. As children move through development they will exhibit more anxiety on certain occasions. Typically in later infancy through preschool age they may show signs of separation anxiety (becoming very upset and nervous when a caregiver is going somewhere without them). This is a normal part of development and kids will usually move past this.

However, some children do not. The following are some signs that your child(ren) is/are experiencing more than the age appropriate anxieties: (www.aacap.org)

¯ constant thoughts and intense fears about the safety of parents and caretakers

¯ refusing to go to school

¯ frequent stomachaches and other physical complaints

¯ extreme worries about sleeping away from home

¯ being overly clingy

¯ panic or tantrums at times of separation from parents

¯ trouble sleeping or nightmares

¯ many worries about things before they happen

¯ constant worries or concerns about family, school, friends, or activities

¯ repetitive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) or actions (compulsions)

¯ fears of embarrassment or making mistakes

¯ low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence

When children are anxious, their anxiety can potentially affect them in multiple areas. If they are suffering from separation anxiety, this could lead to poor academic performance (as they are focused on not being with their caregiver rather than doing their work). It could then lead to social deficits (not being able to make friends). This could then lead to low self-esteem. While anxieties can act in a “snowball effect”, they certainly don’t have to!

You don’t want to coddle your anxious child(ren) but you do want to be sensitive to his/her/their needs. It is important to work together with all the key players in your child’s life (doctors, teachers, school counselors, and most importantly family).

Keep in mind that there are different types of anxieties and different catalysts for the anxiety. Children may experience a traumatic event and could possibly develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and the anxiety associated with it. They could suffer from Separation Anxiety (significant stress experienced when leaving their caregiver). Or they could experience Generalized Anxiety Disorder where they will worry excessively about a variety of things and will often strive for perfection. Anxiety can sometimes lead to a person having obsessive thoughts where they compulsively perform rituals in hopes to quell the anxiety (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). Kids can also experience Panic Disorder when having panic or anxiety attacks that seemingly come out of nowhere with no warning.

There are various forms of therapy that can be helpful in dealing with anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a very common type of talk therapy used by many therapists. When engaging in this type of therapy, the therapist is working with the child to teach skills that the child can use to reduce his/her anxiety. The therapist will also work with the child to identify and replace negative behaviors and thought patterns with positive ones. The child will also be encouraged to identify the difference between realistic and unrealistic thought patterns.

If you begin to recognize any of these symptoms in your child’s behavior, it is recommended that you seek some additional assistance. You may choose to talk to your child’s Primary Doctor. They may recommend medication or counseling, or often both. It will be important, especially if your child is medicated, for the therapist to be able to communicate with the doctor, as well as you, the parent, in order to manage symptoms effectively.

While an anxious child can be difficult to deal with at times, it doesn’t have to be. If your child is in counseling, it is important for you, as the parent, to communicate with the counselor and learn some skills to help your child when they are having an anxious moment.

Anxiety can be incredibly disruptive to the lives of your child(ren). It is important not to minimize his/her/their fears but to acknowledge them and face them head on. If you are unsure as to whether or not treatment would be recommended consult first with your child’s doctor. You can also speak with his/her teacher or school counselor to see if there are symptoms present in the school setting. Typically a child’s anxiety will center around one theme but can be generalized as well.

The good news is that anxiety can be very treatable. If you think your child may be exhibiting signs of anxiety make sure to request an evaluation. Share your observations with the therapist and encourage your child to be honest about his/her feelings. Anxiety is quite common across all age groups for a variety of reasons.

While it can be difficult sometimes to admit that help is needed, don’t be ashamed to ask. The sooner help is sought the sooner problem solving can begin.

If you feel that you or your child may be suffering from anxiety, you can find help at Family Service of the Chautauqua Region, Inc. (716-488-1971) as well as a variety of other community mental health providers.