This is the third and final installment of a vignette about a man named Casey.

He’s been laid off from work for well past a year. He collects unemployment benefits to pay his bills. He lives with his dog, Beauty. COVID-19 led to his job loss. He has no clear view of his future. He pays his bills. He has a dear woman friend, Sylvia, who owns her own home and is gainfully employed. They’ve kept in contact.

During the last session we focused on his self-doubt propensities. I wonder silently about the depth of impact psychologically work lay-off has on Casey. He was able to begin a deep discussion about his relationship with Sylvia. Though I’ve not met or spoken with her, Casey describes her as a woman who is open with him. Yet, when I invite Casey to look at himself, he doesn’t understand what that means. I sense Casey to be laden with low self-worth. He carries doubts about his relationship with Sylvia. He questioned her patience with his being out of work.

As a major focal point of identity for many, he wallows in a measure of self-pity. He’s not even truly opened authentically with Sylvia since he’s been out of work. I invited Casey to spend some time explaining who he is. So hello, Casey; welcome back. How has your week been?

“Not so good I have to admit. (Pause) After I left last week, I discovered that Sylvia hasn’t called me in 10 days. She calls generally every other day. I haven’t reached out to her. That makes me feel real depressed. I couldn’t sleep for two nights. Then, I started thinking about my sleep habits. Wow, man, lots has changed since Covid and being laid off.”

Such as?

“You want a list? Really, I’m not being smart-alecky. I wrote a list of changes in my life. Maybe you and I can talk about them.”

Casey, what prompted you to consider such an exercise?

“Strange. One night when I couldn’t sleep, I put on the radio. I listened to a talk show. The moderator was discussing how COVID-19 has affected people. She spent time on work related issues. Some people called in. Guess I wasn’t the only person unable to sleep. She said that sleep can be a problem when filled with anxiety. Anxiety! I thought I was just depressed. She heard from several callers who all were out of work either laid off or let go permanently. One caller even talked about suicide. That got my attention. I thought for a moment whether I was ever suicidal. She explained some of the symptoms and triggers. One man said he was close to foreclosing on his home. God, I got really upset for him. His family left him. He said he had no clear path to life getting better.”

Did you learn anything on that subject Casey?

“You might laugh. I hugged and petted Beauty. She’s my loyal companion and I give her little attention. Yes, I feed her and walk her, but I don’t play with her like I used to. Scary moment. When I held her, she growled at me. Scared the shit out of me. I sat on the floor and bawled my eyes out. She ran under the bed. A little later, Beauty licked my face like she used to. I told her that I love her. She wagged her tail something fierce. People say dogs love you unconditionally. Guess I didn’t reciprocate too well. She made me feel good.”

That’s a wonderful experience. That talk show sure affected you, Casey.

“It did. That talk show was a good heads up for me.”

Glad to hear you say that. It’s like I say to folks, when you’re searching for a specific type of car to purchase, you might be amazed that you see many on the road. Before, you didn’t notice it but it’s always been there. You didn’t see it because you weren’t exactly looking. That talk show probably has been on the air-waves. Your sleep struggles got you to turn on the radio instead of fighting to sleep.

“Funny you say that. When the show ended, I crashed. Really! My body said it’s all OK, Casey. I got up the next day feeling rested. I started to do a cleaning that was a long-time coming. I’m in the process of that. I even made my self some tasty food with lots of vegies and nutrition. Beauty and I went out for a long walk. Her tail never stopped wagging. How about that?”

Nice start. Self-discovery opens doors to who you really are. Any other new and different discoveries?

“Yes. I was heartened by our talk about Sylvia. She’s not been to my home in months. She’s dropped off food or other essentials. We haven’t had a face-to-face. I called her and left a voice message. She called me the next day. I asked her if we could go for a walk with Beauty, who she loves. She seemed at first to be hesitant but she agreed to go this weekend. I’m kind of nervous.” (Laughs)

What is so funny, Casey?

“I realize we’ve not been out for months. She’s busy working and taking care of her home. I just haven’t reached out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited. I want to hug her. We used to take country drives, stop for a treat, and toss a ball with Beauty. I found Beauty’s favorite ball after my cleaning.”

Casey, you’ve something to look forward to.

“You know, I’ve been rehearsing, don’t laugh, in front of a mirror. I keep flubbing it. I want to say the right thing to Sylvia.”

Casey, just be you. Bring the feelings you have for Sylvia to your visit. Do you miss her?

“Yes, damn straight I do!”

Do you think she misses you?

“It’s funny you ask that. Maybe I’ve been too much into me and not into my feelings for Sylvia. You know, my job situation and COVID have had a great effect on me. I think I got lost in the experience.”

Casey, perhaps you might let Sylvia know what counseling has helped you discover.

“Right. I need to thank her. It was Sylvia who encouraged me to get involved. Maybe she saw in me what I lost in myself.”

That’s quite a revelation. Perhaps Sylvia might be a good source for discussing work. What does your work mean to you after all these months of being laid-off?

“Sounds like I’ve neglected myself during these months. Maybe it is time to look at my job situation.”

Casey, you’re alone with your experience but know that millions of people share in your experience from their own perspective. There’s more of your story, your history to experience. I’m excited for this Casey.

“Thanks. Wish me luck with Sylvia.”

I’ll wish you a prosperous and healthy experience.

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Marshall Greenstein holds a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling and is a licensed marriage and family counselor and a licensed mental health counselor in New York state. He has regular office hours at Hutton and Greenstein Counseling Services, 501 E. Third St., Suite 2B, Jamestown, 484-7756. For more information or to suggest topics, email editorial@post-journal.com.