Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month makes me think about how much stigma I carried for a long time.

I believed what a lot of men are taught — that you’re supposed to be tough, suck it up, push through, and handle everything on your own. That needing help meant you were weak somehow. So I kept trying to force my way through depression instead of actually dealing with it. I thought if I just kept moving forward, eventually things would get better on their own.

They didn’t.

Depression has a way of slowly draining everything out of you while you try to pretend you’re okay. There were periods where I was barely functioning but still trying to act normal. And honestly, one of the hardest parts of the healing process was simply continuing to show up.

Showing up to appointments when my mind was telling me to isolate was hard. Talking honestly when I wanted to shut down was hard. Sitting through treatment, therapy, difficult conversations, and facing things I spent years trying to bury felt like fighting demons inside myself. Healing wasn’t motivating or inspiring most of the time — a lot of it felt painful, exhausting, and emotionally raw.

There were days I went because I knew I had to, not because I felt hopeful.

My PCP referred me to Lakeside Medical Practice and stayed in constant communication with them throughout my care. That mattered more than I can explain. It wasn’t just a referral and being left on my own — it was consistent coordination and support that helped keep me connected to treatment during times I probably would have withdrawn from it.

My therapist also believed strongly in the care Lakeside was providing and stayed in constant communication throughout my treatment as well. That level of teamwork mattered. Knowing the people involved in my care were actually communicating, aligned, and working together instead of operating separately made me feel supported during a time where my own mind often made me feel completely alone.

Therapy itself forced me to stop hiding behind “I’m fine” and actually confront what I was carrying. Some sessions left me emotionally drained for the rest of the day, but they were necessary. Healing meant finally facing things I spent years running from.

What made a difference was having my PCP, my therapist, and Lakeside Medical Practice all working together instead of separately. Mental health treatment isn’t one conversation or one medication — it’s a process, and having a connected team around me helped keep that process from falling apart when things got difficult.

I also have to acknowledge my own role in this. Nobody could do the work for me. I had to keep showing up even when it hurt, even when I was tired, even when progress felt invisible. Sometimes healing looked less like “getting better” and more like refusing to completely give up on myself.

I’m still on the journey, but I’m not where I started. And a huge part of that came from finally understanding that asking for help didn’t make me weak — it’s what helped keep me alive and moving forward.

As Men’s Mental Health Month awareness starts in june, I think it’s important to talk honestly about how many men are conditioned to suffer quietly. We’re taught to push emotions down, avoid vulnerability, and carry pain without talking about it. A lot of men become experts at looking functional while falling apart internally. Too many wait until they’re completely exhausted, isolated, angry, numb, or hopeless before reaching for help — if they reach for it at all.

The truth is, a lot of men don’t need to “man up.” They need permission to finally put the weight down.

We’ve been taught that strength means silence. That strength means carrying everything alone without complaining. But real strength is being able to admit when something is breaking you. Real strength is being honest enough to say, “I’m not okay.” Real strength is walking into therapy when every instinct is telling you to keep your guard up. Real strength is facing the things you buried instead of letting them slowly destroy you from the inside out.

Talking about what you’re carrying doesn’t make you less of a man. If anything, it takes more courage than pretending everything is fine.

A man who can communicate, process emotions, ask for help, and confront his own pain is not weak — that’s emotional strength. That’s self-awareness. That’s growth. And honestly, too many men are dying trying to live up to an idea of toughness that only teaches them to suffer in silence.

That stigma is real, and it nearly kept me from getting the help I needed.

During Men’s Mental Health Month, I just want to acknowledge how important real, connected mental health care is. My PCP, my therapist, and Lakeside Medical Practice became part of helping me carry something I tried to survive alone for far too long, and I’m grateful for the role they played in helping me keep going.

Michael Haddad is a Jamestown resident.