A man named Leo contacted me for an appointment. His neighbor friend, Butch, gave him my name. He came without an agenda. Leo is retired, having worked as a rural route mailman for twenty-eight years. He and his neighbor spent their time playing games. He’s not clear what discussions they shared that resulted in Leo seeking counseling. Much to learn, he’s married and his wife is employed. As a couple, they reportedly socialize with Butch and his wife. They have three children and five grandchildren. All have relocated. Leo reports regular contact with them. He elaborated on the subject of work. He chose the job delivering to rural customers six days a week. Most often, he delivered the mail with little contact with his customers. He voiced surprise at talking as much as he did. I normalized his initial counseling experience. Everyone is different. Each person who shares… that defines a starting point. Where it continues, this is session two.

I greeted Leo as he entered my office, carrying his thermos of coffee.

Good morning, Leo. How has your week been?

“I left your office and decided to not go home directly.All that was how I did each day. They could wait. I drove to my wife’s work, parked the car and went inside to see her. The look on her face told it all. She was surprised to see me. I never go to her work. I wanted to go out to lunch. It was noon when she had lunch and the office closed. She smiled and got looks from her colleagues. She said yes and we went out to eat. I can’t recall us doing it for a long time. As a general rule, she brings her lunch and eats at her desk. She was so surprised. We ate, laughed, and held hands. She kissed me affectionately when I dropped her off.”

“Later on, I took a ride and retraced some of my rural mail route. The weather was pleasant. I turned on the radio and listened to music. When I worked, I never listened to music. It must have been good timing. As I drove, up ahead, I saw Mrs. Frank at her mailbox. I honked the horn, which startled her for a moment. I stopped. She looked at me and smiled. ‘Leo? How are you?’ I told her that I’d been retired. She said that her husband, a trucker, was home. She invited me for a visit. We sat, drank coffee and ate cookies. I hadn’t seen them for a long time, what a great time I had. They remembered several times that I delivered their mail in a snow storm. Mrs. Frank added that an important piece of mail they were waiting for I delivered on one of those snow days. It was money that would get them through a harsh winter. They were scared some bill might not get paid. Mr. Frank excused himself and went to his desk in the dining room. He fumbled with some papers, and finally returned with a letter. They set it in front of me and asked me to read it. It was a copy of a letter that they wrote to the Postmaster. The context said how

grateful they were that I delivered was a difference maker. Had I not come up in the bad weather, their bills may not have been paid on time. They each shook my hand and hugged. They sent me on my way with cookies to share with my wife. The rest of my day I sported a shit-eating grin on my face. I told my wife when she got home. She listened and told me how proud she was of me. Then we ate the cookies she thought I baked. Then I told her Mrs. Frank gave them to me.”

“We had so much fun on our impromptu lunch date that we decided to start doing it say once a week. We could go to different restaurants and try out different foods. We watched a movie and went to bed. I slept so soundly I didn’t hear her leave for work. She left a note saying how much she loved me.” Wide smile.

Leo, you’ve described some interesting life transformative experiences, what do you imagine happened to you? Revelations of relationships and connections to people, how does it feel?

“I’m blown away. You know when Butch and I got to talking about counseling, he told me that you’d ask me how I feel. And so you did. You know, I’m beside myself trying to remember anyone asking me how I feel. Come to think about it, I never ask anyone how he or she feels. It seems so corny. But how you asked me how I feel sounds so real, so honest, how do I feel? First of all, my body feels lighter. Does that sound weird?”

No, Leo, that’s a common report. Our bodies carry so much feeling, sometimes you don’t see. However, some people say that feeling lighter seems to leave them with a sense of improved health. Some life experiences, bear with me, leave people with all kinds of feelings. That stay, in a fashion, with them. Sometimes, we hold onto feelings that find a home in our body. At unforeseen times, our bodies tighten up or ache with the pain of those feelings. Sounds strange, it is real. The older we get, the possibilities loom large from that scenario, to manifest. Here’s some paper. Take your time. Write down some instances where feelings were apparent and not really felt. Get my drift Leo? Then take it home and add to it as you realize incomplete life experiences…feelings some unfelt some to talk and share the fullness of your experience. See then how feeling your true feelings will enhance your health.

Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me.

Marshall Greenstein holds a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling and is a licensed marriage and family counselor and a licensed mental health counselor in New York state. He has regular office hours at 415 E. Sixth St., Jamestown, and can be reached at 484-7756. For more information or to suggest topics, email editorial@post-journal.com.