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The best Christmas gift I ever received was a roller coaster. It stood about four-feet high, had three steps up to the top and a cart that you sat on as you were launched down a metal frame over two small, but thrilling curves. I was eight.
It's been all down hill from there, if you'll pardon the pun. With the exception of a pretty necklace my husband bought me last year, I can't remember many gifts of Christmas past. The things that do come to mind are things I liked but didn't need--like a Sephora gift certificate to purchase makeup or a gorgeous pair of furry boots.
I'm not sure I like the idea of asking for specific things. It sort of takes the joy out of giving, doesn't it? A gift comes from someone who was thinking of you and sought to purchase something that reminded them of you, or that they thought you'd look nice in, or something you'd think was special. When you say, "Please buy me this foot massager at Target," it leaves out any creativity on the part of the buyer. There's no spontaneity, no joy de vie, no suspense. It's just, "Here's the foot massager that you asked for."
But the older I get, the more that sort of giving makes sense to me. My husband and I do not need coffee cups, knick knacks, picture frames or wine glasses. In fact, every holiday I get out the silver polish and mail out family treasures we don't use anymore. I'm starting to pare down our own things and so I offer the girls things worth keeping.
So, when my daughter called yesterday and told me she bought my husband a coffee cup with a picture of our dog on it, I tried to act happy and surprised as I always do--just like when they were in kindergarten and gave us paper doilies and clay ashtrays.
What we really want are experiences--a gift certificate to a nice coffee shop, a dinner out, tickets to a local attraction. We're at a point in life where we don't want things--we want things to do. You don't have to store or pack a pair of tickets to the movies, and it's so much more enriching than getting a blue foam yoga mat I will never use.
Next year, I'm thinking of suggesting that we don't exchange gifts with our kids and plan a weekend or a week away together. Experiences over material possessions--isn't that the new mantra?
But then, I had so much fun picking out gifts this year. I bought my daughter's family a beautiful old fashioned sled from LL Bean that looks like it will last generations. It's beautiful, with a red velvet cushion and a rounded back--a throwback to a lovely time now passed. Every time they use it, they will think of us, and I love picturing them out in the white snow, laughing in their hats and mittens with a thermos of hot chocolate. I'm a nostalgic idealist--I think life should be special, even if I have to fall back on visions that seem a little Norman Rockwell-ish from time to time. In some strange way I am imposing my ideals on them: "Now get out there and sled like it's the 1950's!"
I frequently buy gifts that herald back to another time, like monogrammed linen napkins and Christmas tree skirts, knitted mittens, and old fashioned holiday decorations. Don't give up on Christmas, I seem to be saying, it can still be special!
Today I was in a store that had one corporate-looking cardboard decoration hanging from the ceiling. It was a winter scene--no mention of Christmas, no lights, no holiday icons. It just had four pine trees on it with snow on their boughs. Nothing says,"ho-ho-ho" like a lonely non-Christian, non-Santa cardboard decoration hanging by itself.
In fact, Christmas is disappearing a little more each year, especially in big cities. If you could see the Macy's store windows this season, you'd wonder if they'd forgotten it was Christmas at all.
But no worries! We can keep Christmas alive by ourselves, and one way we do that is by giving of ourselves--no matter what it is--even if it's a coffee mug with your dog's lovely face forever staring at you from the second shelf of a cupboard.
It is the thought that counts. And it's a thought that lets us know that Christmas can still be magic because we make it so.