Try this one just for fun.

Next time someone you don’t know says what a nice winter this has been, smile and say this winter has been bad, because we haven’t had much snow.

Just try.

And then see what kind of reaction you get from those who aren’t snow fans.

They might smile and get it.

They might roll their eyes.

Or they might look at you in a way suggesting they think your elevator doesn’t go to the top floor.

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This winter, kids were looking forward to building snow forts, building snowmen, making snow angels, and taking sleds to all of their familiar places.

Bigger kids were looking forward to snowmobiling, downhill skiing, and cross-country skiing in all of their familiar places.

However much fun a whopping winter could have been, we didn’t need the kind of winter during which places in the prime of the snowbelt report multiple hundreds of inches.

A decent, respectable amount would have sufficed. Enough to have some fun for an extended time.

But that didn’t happen. Not this winter.

Nevertheless, ski resorts have done great work in keeping slopes open during what for them has been a tough season.

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When those who were looking forward to a good amount of snow asked for it in December, January, and February, they meant it.

In December.

In January.

In February.

Some meant it in March as well.

But, dear Mother Nature, it’s not December, January, or February anymore.

And now that we’re well into March, the vernal equinox is almost upon us, which means the sun is climbing higher and higher into the sky in the northern hemisphere.

The sun isn’t snow’s friend.

Nor is the elevation in these parts great enough for winter sports to extend well into the spring, much less take place year round.

The first flowers of the late winter and early spring are already out.

Daffodils are even peeking through the soil. They’re not anywhere close to having buds, mind you, yet they’re peeking through the soil.

It’s too late now, dear Mother Nature, to send us multiple weeks of walloping snow to make up for what didn’t happen this winter.

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Spring school sports started, as they always do, at the beginning of March. Yes, the beginning of March. That means baseball for boys, softball for girls, tennis for boys, golf, track, plus whatever else has become a spring school sport.

Beyond schools, it’s getting on time to clean up yards and, sooner than we’ll know it, plant annuals.

It’s getting on time to get out golf clubs and hit the links.

It’s getting on time to think about putting docks and boats into the water.

So please don’t tell us, dear Mother Nature, that Lake Erie didn’t freeze – or at least didn’t freeze much – this winter, so the snow machine is still viable when a cold wind comes over the unfrozen waters.

The lake’s not freezing isn’t our fault, dear Mother Nature.

If you want to share an occasional dusting of snow shortly after the first day of spring, we’ll deal with that. But, no, dear Mother Nature, you don’t get to run away with the word “dusting” or the word “shortly.” If, for example, we can’t easily sweep it, or if it doesn’t melt quickly, it’s not a “dusting.” And no, “shortly” doesn’t mean several weeks.

So please don’t even think, dear Mother Nature, about sending us more than a dusting after the first day of spring.

And several weeks after the first day of spring, please don’t think about even a dusting.

Randy Elf harbors no delusions that Mother Nature reads this column, much less takes direction from it.

COPYRIGHT ç 2023 BY RANDY ELF