From early childhood to this present moment, each memory and experience we have had has shaped us into the person that stands before us in the mirror each day. Life is like a patch-work quilt with every moment having been carefully etched into the fabric of the complex and intricate masterpiece that is you. Life is beautiful and there will be moments that warm our hearts, take our breath away and leave us speechless. Think of these moments, and think of them often. Use them to carry you aloft when things get turbulent. Life is also hard and there will be moments where we are left feeling utterly empty and utterly alone in this world. The beautiful moments get us through the hard moments, but sometimes the hard moments leave us down a bit longer than we would have liked. Sometimes, something happens, and it shakes up our world so entirely that we forget what stability feels like. We forget who we were before the clouds came and the darkness covered us. We forget what it ever felt like to be happy at all.

A traumatic event is any experience that overwhelms your thoughts, emotions or body. Traumatic events are a sonic boom that come barreling in like a tsunami and can bring with them feelings of horror, fear and an overwhelming sense of helplessness. No one is exempt from joy and love, but no one is exempt from tragedy either. Tragedy tends to leave us feeling like we are floating out at sea with no life jacket. Although we are never truly alone, tragedy and trauma fool us into believing that there is no help to be found, but rest assured that there is. There is a whole world out there ready to help you mend the pieces that feel torn, to lend the hand that gets you back on your feet and to show you the compassion that you so desperately need.

Below are some examples of incidents and events that are commonly considered to be traumatic to a person’s life:

Natural disasters, war, the sudden death of a loved one, being assaulted, witnessing community violence, witnessing a violent death, being in an accident, childhood neglect, verbal/physical/sexual abuse, being a victim of domestic violence, being in constant fear of harm, or being in a high stress environment.

When we experience trauma, we don’t always act and feel the way that we did before the traumatic event occurred. We somehow feel altered and changed, to the point where we may no longer recognize ourselves or our behaviors. It may feel as though the dark shroud of trauma forever lives in our wake. Trauma has a tendency to rewire the way we think and it tries to convince our bodies and minds that it cannot trust others and it cannot trust that life itself is inherently good. Untreated trauma can lead to additional mental health disorders like anxiety, depression, and even substance abuse disorders with symptoms that are difficult to manage alone. Emotional symptoms to look out for are feelings of extreme sadness, anxiety, flashbacks, confusion, brain fog, exhaustion, being easily startled, anxiety/panic attacks, difficulty regulating our emotions and impulses, and even social isolation/withdrawal. The stress response from trauma, over time, can reduce your body’s immune response and can cause more serious diseases later in life like heart attacks, stroke, weight gain, cancer, memory loss, personality changes and more.

If it feels like too much to carry, maybe it is, and maybe it’s time to set it down. There is hope on the other side of despair and this weight is not something that you have to carry alone. It is absolutely necessary to have someone there who can bear the burden with you. Someone who will listen to and support you when the feelings are too heavy for you to hold by yourself; someone or something that can truly be your lifeline. Friends and family, spiritual or religious alliances, a support group with people who have gone through the same things as you, and a licensed mental health professional can help you take the first steps in the journey of healing. Creating a network that you can rely on will truly mean all of the difference in your healing journey. Surrounding yourself with those who can give you the tools to manage your symptoms can help free you from the chains of trauma.

Take a moment to think about your network. Who is on the other end of your lifeline? Are they people who will help mend the broken pieces? Do they come equipped with the correct tools to ensure that the damage doesn’t worsen?

If you feel ready to ask for help, there are resources available in our area.

Family Service of the Chautauqua Region, Inc provides mental health therapy to individuals in the surrounding community and can be reached at 716-488-1971.