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A local mother is seeking more protections both locally and on the state level for herself and her child following continued open cases of abuse and child custody.
Tonya Purlow has been working through the courts and judicial system to protect her son from his father, who was recently indicted on three counts of first-degree rape and three counts of third-degree rape.
Purlow has been diagnosed with PTSD and has receipts and papers that she shared with The Post-Journal and will be shared with the judge and courts, detailing abuse and some incidents on Facebook, including her son’s father allegedly wanting to set up a community like Waco, where a religious cult had a standoff with police in 1993.
Purlow shared multiple other Facebook posts, comments, and official court documents with The Post-Journal, including documented conversations, violations and threats. She said there is a video of her 6-year-old son saying he has been asked to lie, and the judge has not agreed to give them an order of protection, though one was given earlier that has now ended, and that one was violated.
"We've got to stand up," Purlow said. "Somebody's got to finally stand up for our communities to recognize that domestic violence is very real and just because a child has not yet had the scars from it, does not mean that we should just ignore all of the signs and put a child in harm's way again."
In addition to court advocacy, Purlow is asking Gov. Kathy Hochul to sign legislation known as Kyra's Law (S.5998/A.6194-C), which received bipartisan approval in the state Legislature earlier this year and which is now waiting on Hochul's signature. The bill was sponsored by Andrew Hevesi, D-Forest Hills, and passed the state Assembly unanimously. The bill was co-sponsored by Senator James Skoufis, D-Cornwall, and co-sponsored by Sen. George Borrello, R-Sunset Bay.
WHAT KYRA'S LAW DOES
Kyra's Law is named in memory of 2-year-old Kyra Franchettie, who was shot and killed by her father during a court-ordered unsupervised visit in 2016. The law would prioritize child safety and the evaluation of abuse allegations in family court custody and visitation proceedings.
According to the legislative memo, Kyra's Law would require courts to conduct a review in custody and visitation proceedings involving allegations of domestic violence, child abuse or substantial risks of harm to a child warranting the court’s immediate attention. It would expand the evidence a court considers to include risk factors, such as threats to harm or kill, stalking, violence during pregnancy, unlawful dissemination of intimate images, coercive control and a recent pattern of substance abuse, The section would also permit review of certain uncertified records in proceedings for temporary visitation and custody; allow waiver of notice in emergency ex parte applications; and make substantial risk findings a significant factor in custody and visitation determinations.
Kyra's Law would also expand custody and visitation procedures in state Supreme Court by requiring courts to advise parties of counsel rights; require courts to explain on the record the basis for custody and visitation determinations; prohibit adverse inferences against protective parents or assumptions regarding a child’s reluctance to interact with a parent; and require recurring judicial training on child safety and domestic violence’ issues,
'WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE'
There are other stories in other states similar to Kyra's law that Purlow said she found in her research, saying that pushing for these changes in the system are important. Purlow added that she has called Hochul's office herself to push for her signature, and is considering talking to her current political opponent in the upcoming election as well. Her son's father has also been charged with criminal possession of a firearm for a second time, and the man has a history of domestic violence, including people that Purlow does not know that have been commenting on Facebook since his latest charges were announced.
Purlow said the judge has still not acknowledged the risk her son is in with the father, even with the evidence, videos, and court incidents. Purlow emphasized that Kyra's law needs to be signed, and it is important for people to learn about things like DARVO -- Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, a psychological manipulation strategy used by perpetrators to deflect accountability when confronted with their wrongdoing -- and domestic violence, and that other families out there are depending on it. She gave another example of her own abuse when her six year old son came home one day, dehydrated, at 8 p.m., having it be the first time he went to the bathroom that day as well, and ended up going to the emergency room. Purlow was pursuing a PCA certification at the time, and talked to the nurse teaching them, and she recommended making sure to get everything like that documented.
"What is it going to take, that the child actually is hurt, before someone will do something?" Purlow said. "Why does it take to the point where a child is actually hurt in some way before someone will do something to protect them?"