I just got out of the car with my husband after two days of traveling home from the deep south. It rained the entire two days. There were six accidents, hours of sitting on interstates waiting for those accidents to clear, and bad food at every exit. By the time we pulled into the driveway in Lakewood we had stopped talking to each other.

What is it about traveling that can bring out the worst in couples? I have a friend whose husband often refuses to leave the hotel when they go on vacation. He’s too tired, or unhappy with the prices at restaurants, or he has anxiety diving in other countries. Why go anywhere at all?

And I read about a woman who went on a cruise with her husband and decided on the flight home that the marriage was over. He’d made fun of the other cruise passengers, was annoying after a few drinks, and made the trip unbearable with his controlling nature.

When people are out of their element some tend to feel uncomfortable. I notice this on my tours: people have full lives at home, full of tasks, and relationships, drama, and activity. Sometimes when they join a tour, they feel uncomfortable with the blank slate in front of them–nothing to worry about and nothing that they have to do. Sometimes they create what I call “tour drama” to make up for the stimuli they’re missing. They’ll complain, or be generally unhappy, or talk about the other passengers or the tour director in an unkind way. I can really only recall one or two completely happy groups in twenty years of tour directing.

On this trip home from Florida, my husband and I argued about the rain. After witnessing the fifth accident on slippery roads, I wanted to call it quits for the day. I saw the accidents as a sign that the roads were unsafe and it was better to get somewhere dry and safe rather than tempt fate. He wanted to push on and that’s when the trouble started.

From behind us in the passing lane a small sedan pulled up, wanting us to get out of the way. The number of rogue drivers on American roads has been out of control in recent years, with young people, who are simulating video game driving, race one another and weave in and out on interstate roads. The gentleman behind us was presumably one such driver.

Unfortunately for him, there was a truck to our right so we couldn’t quickly change lanes to let him pass. Furious, he pulled up to within an inch of our car and swayed left and right in a menacing motion behind us.

After a few moments, when we had cleared the truck to our right, before we could change lanes, the menacing driver behind us quickly moved into the right lane, but instead of going on his merry and very crazy way, he quickly pulled in front of us in the left lane and slammed on his breaks, nearly causing us to hit him. Then he slowed his car down to twenty miles an hour on an interstate with a posted limit of 70 miles per hour for no other reason than to terrorize us.

The traffic behind us quickly approached and was trying to veer out of our way by scooting into the right lane, so we were stuck behind this road monster for several minutes, with no way out. When we finally saw an opportunity to move to the right hand lane, we moved quickly and the monster continued on his merry way.

Those moments behind the road terrorist were truly life

-passing-in-front-of-you moments. We were so drained that we pulled off at the next exit to collect ourselves. And then, finally, my husband agreed to stop for the night.

Moving from one place to another, whether you’re off on vacation or visiting family in the next state, is often fodder for life’s biggest moments–both good and bad. You’ve left your own little world and are, in some ways, at life’s mercy. You’re out there traversing big landscapes, driving great speeds, choosing from miserable dining options, and your body is out of whack. You’ve unplugged from your typical daily routine and you’re not yourself. You miss your bed and your grilled cheese and tomato soup for lunch. The familiarity of life is gone. It’s no wonder couples bicker.

The best couples must understand that vacations magnify everything–joy, stress, quirks, fatigue. But beneath the bickering, one can hope, is love, and learning how to manage chaos, one misstep, menacing driver, and wrong turn at a time.