Tomorrow is marked on most calendars with the reminder that it’s the day to celebrate and honor fathers, dads, grandfathers, step-fathers, foster fathers, and godfathers. Tomorrow, we celebrate Father’s Day.

Times and circumstances (unfortunate death, separation and/or divorce, etc.) have changed from my generation as, unfortunately, there are many more homes with only one parent and that parent is usually the mother of the children living there. In some of those families, the father stays involved in the children’s lives, stays involved in making sure he does his share in supporting his children, and hopefully stays amicable with the children’s mother in support of the children.

I had the privilege of living in a two-parent home, both who made sure all of us living in our home were well fed, clothed, sheltered, cared for medically, spiritually, and that we took our education seriously. They also taught us (at home), work ethics, commitment, dedication, responsibility, reliability, and any/all other life skills they felt we needed to know, to be not only productive people in the world, but also able to successfully take care of ourselves financially when the time came for us to go off on our own, maybe get married, and raise a family of our own. They taught us about rules, expectations, accountability, and consequences, too. They made time to entertain us with outdoor activities, such as camping, picnics, ball games, going to a parade, a movie (in-theater and drive-in), and whatever else happened to be available to us as we grew up.

Some fathers had/have daughters, some sons, some both, so they have/had to understand who they were dealing with, when to react one way or another, and how to adjust to the differences, and needs, of both their sons and daughters.

As has helped me often in trying to be as good a person (husband, teacher, colleague, coach, friend, and parent) as I can be, I turn to music and some song lyrics that made sense to me when I heard them, and gave me some “food for thought,” as I go/went through my day to day in the many roles I play/have played in my life. And as I’ve done so many times, I turn to my favorite songwriting story teller, sometimes teacher, and/or counselor, Jimmy Buffett, for ways to be a better parent, grandparent, and person too.

In 1994, Buffett released a song that he, Mac McAnally, and Amy Lee Schwartzberg wrote for his album, Fruitcakes, that sings of a relationship between a father and a daughter. The lyrics focus on the early part of his second daughter’s life, and are mainly based on his just watching her do the things she liked to do, and be who/what she wanted to be in those early years. Whenever I hear the song, I picture in my mind, my son, Jon, playing with his two daughters on the floor, outdoors, and he and Erica taking them to zoos, animal farms, kids museums etc. I’d guess Jimmy’s daughter was about the average age of my granddaughters (around 4), when he wrote it. The title of that song is the title of this narrative, and the lyrics are…”

“Delaney talks to statues

As she dances ’round the pool

She chases cats through Roman ruins

And stomps on big toadstools

She speaks a language all her own

That I cannot discover

But she knows I love her so

When I tuck her ‘neath the covers

Father, daughter

Down by the water

Shells sink, dreams float

Life’s good on our boat

Delaney draws me pictures

She finger-paints the sand

We chase the dogs and hop like frogs

Then I do my bad handstand

She’s growin’ up too fast for me

And askin’ lots of questions

Some I know the answers to

And some I’m lookin’ for suggestions

Father, daughter

Born by the water

Surf’s up, sun’s down

Life in a beach town

And some of the things I’ve seen

Maybe she won’t have to see

But there’s a lot I want to pass along

That was handed down to me

Delaney talks to statues

And she dances ’round the pool

She chases cats through Roman ruins

And stomps on big toadstools

She speaks a language all her own

Just a little like her mother

But she knows I love her so

When I tuck her ‘neath those covers

Father, daughter

Down by the water

Shells sink, dreams float

Life’s good on our boat

Shells sink, dreams float

Life’s good on our boat”

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Jimmy Buffett / Mac McAnally / Amy Lee Schwartzberg

Relationships like the one described in these lyrics are very much like the way we grew up in our home. We didn’t have a boat, but I substituted the word “home” for “boat. Basically, I learned from this song that, yes, fathers work hard to provide for their children, but beyond all the responsibilities of parenthood, the little things, the time spent with us, and the things our dad tried to teach us, more than lecture us, were the special things that meant so much to us, and later influenced us in what was important in being a parent. I hope I have made my father as proud in my raising our children, as I am of my son (and daughters too) who is, in my biased but justified opinion, an amazing daddy to his two beautiful little girls. And to my pop, my father-in-law, my son, sons-in-law, brothers, nephews, uncles, cousins, the godfathers of my grandchildren, my friends, colleagues, parents of former students and athletes, who are fathers themselves, I thank you for influencing me in my role as a father. I wish you, and all fathers everywhere, a Happy Father’s Day tomorrow.