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Please Listen To The Following Menu (Part 1)

The title of this narrative may be one of the most grating phrases any of us wish to hear, as it’s usually followed by a litany of choices, most, if any, that won’t help us, indicating a pretty good bet it’s excluding the one we need. And if one is there that might help us, that’s usually followed by a lengthy wait accompanied by the worst choice in music, usually played way too loud and laced with static.

Automation has destroyed much (all?) customer service that used to be afforded consumers in almost every line of business. (Customer Service- a near extinct idea quickly disappearing from our daily life.) We had come to appreciate, and still expect, services that customers used to get while shopping, or while on the phone talking to someone who knew something about the business that pays them, so they’re able to answer questions from potential customers who needed information before deciding on a purchase.

Today, if while ordering or purchasing something online, a real possibility exists of a person clicking on to one thing, and assuming [but remember, when you assume, you make an “a$$” (substitute for mule) of “u” and “me”] you were going to get what you wanted. Yes, we should check before proceeding to the next step, but things should not be anywhere near as slip shot as it is today. Case in point, I recently went online to get tickets to an upcoming show in March. I went to the date and time and chose the one we could attend. I assumed (making myself one of those donkeys mentioned a few sentences ago) I’d be referred to the tickets I wanted, sins I clicked on that tab, so I prepared to checkout. Just as I hit the purchase button, I caught a glimpse of the time of the performance. I wanted as the 1:00 matinee as it was the show we could attend, but I had just purchased the 6:30 show tickets, which wasn’t the one we wanted, or could attend. I absolutely know I initially clicked on the tab for March 27, at 1:00 pm. Again, I was wrong for assuming that their online set up would send me to the correct tickets I chose, but I was not wrong in assuming it should have been set up to match the tab I selected.

On the order confirmation I received, again via mobile device, there was a phone number to call if I had questions. I dialed the number and guess what I heard first? (title)

I listened to the list and none of the choices could help me so, as I was instructed, I pressed “0” to speak to a representative. (Cue loud, lousy music and static) I listened to that garbage for 15 minutes with automated interruptions here and there reminding me of their online site I could refer to, but I figured their screwed up site was what brought me to the phone call and the listening to the following menu, so, there I was in “Frustration Limbo.”

I re-called the number and got a repeat 15 minute performance and same result. Assuming (oops) the third time would be the charm, I encored, and once again, bupkis! Back to the future, I tried an e mail reply to the confirmation of my ticket order, no luck again. Miraculously, three days later, I finally got ahold of someone only to hear, I could not trade the evening tickets for the matinee. They did offer me a chance to try and sell my tickets back to them, and re-order the ones I wanted, but there was no guarantee that my original tickets would be bought, so after even more work, I rearranged things, so we can use the 6:30 performance of “To Kill a Mockingbird,” at Shea’s Theater, featuring Richard Thomas as Atticus Finch.

Another mistake made by me was originally going through a ticket agency, when I could have gone through the theatre where the show will be performed, but they wouldn’t go on sale for a while and I wanted to make sure we got them before they were sold out. Regardless, I still go back to my peeve this week and next, and ask, “What’s happened to customer service in today’s world of business?” Stay tuned for more next week.

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