I read in the paper that Sony is once again selling its robotic dog, Aibo. Aibo was on the market before, from 1999 to 2006. Then, the cost was $2,000. Now, it’s $2,899 but he comes with a bone and a ball. The new edition is better looking that the previous model, and has some other improvements as well.

According to an article by Bridget Carey on cnet.com the new Aibo knows several commands, and will offer a paw if you say, “shake hands,” or “high-five” and it will retrieve either the ball or the bone on command. It will even lift its leg, without the attendant mess.

Research I did on the earlier model indicates that playing with a robiotic dog can lower blood pressure as well as the real thing. Aibo is expensive, but not much more than many purebred dogs, and, that’s it for cost. There are no veterinary bills, no hair on every upholstered surface, no grooming bills. You don’t need to buy a bed or a crate and if you go on vacation, you don’t need to find a boarding kennel or hire a pet sitter.

Aibo will never jump up and get mud on your clothes, and he’ll never destroy your shoes. Aibo doesn’t need to be walked and he’ll never throw up on your best carpet. There’s no counter-surfing, no begging, no whining at the door in the middle of your favorite television program.

I can understand the appeal. Dealing with an energetic puppy who loves going out to play multiple times in an evening, it would be nice sometimes to be able to turn him off. As smart as he is, he persists in jumping up, and he isn’t gentle about it; rather he launches himself as if he’s playing football. There’s a certain appeal to never having to clean up another mess, and the idea of never again spending 35 dollars for a giant bag of sweet potato chews sounds lovely.

Yet, Aibo failed in his earlier incarnation, and I think he’ll fail again. I don’t think Aibo will fail because of the price, or the fact that he can’t alert a family to danger, or even because he lacks soft, cuddly fur.

The reason the original Aibo failed, and the reason this one will, too, is that it doesn’t eat.

Think about it.

Real, live dogs keep our floors clean of crumbs and the odd peanut or pretzel. They dispose of our pizza crusts. They are the ultimate garbage disposal.

I admit to a lazy streak when it comes to picking up. If I drop a potato chip in my home, I know a dog will get it. There’s no bending over and picking up the chip and then walking to the nearest wastebasket. Recently, I was visiting a dogless friend and I dropped part of my sandwich. It was with a vague sense of unease that I bent and picked it up. It just didn’t seem right. There should have been a tail-wagging dog eagerly gobbling up the bread.

When I’m working in the kitchen and something falls on the floor, there’s no need to stop what I’m doing and pick up whatever fell. I have two dogs who are happy to help clean up.

With real dogs, late night munching in the living room means no vacuuming the next morning. The dogs take care of dropped popcorn kernels quickly and efficiently. When I drop a cashew as I fill a bowl, I don’t have to search for it frantically, or worry that if I don’t find it, it will attract bugs or mice. Dogs eliminate the stress that can come with such worry. I can relax, knowing that my dogs will let no crumb go uneaten.

Dogs help conserve water, too. Instead of wasting water rinsing plates before they go in the dishwasher, I just set them on the floor and let Gael and Tegan take care of things.

Sony is a huge company and I’m sure it has done tons of market research. It may be that there are enough people out there who will want a robotic dog, not for its similarities with a real dog, but just because it’s robotic.

Still, the Coca-Cola company probably did research, too, before changing Coke, and that didn’t turn out as planned.

Sony may have done research, but if they really wanted Aibo to succeed they would have crossed him with a vacuum cleaner.