Today we celebrate Father’s Day. It is a different celebration in these times than it was in my growing-up days. In most cases growing up, the family structure was different than it is today. Most families had Father, Mother, the kids and maybe a pet. Families spent much more time around each other than happens today. There were more family dinners back then, more family outings like picnics, family vacations, camping trips, family church activities, families gathered together evenings around the television, and/or families just taking a ride in the country together on a Sunday afternoon.

Back when I grew up, most fathers were the breadwinners, and in most homes, mom stayed home and took care of the house and the kids. That’s the way it was in my house until I was about 12 years old when Mom got a part-time job. It also seemed like, in those days, fathers took care of the outside work around the house, while mothers took care of the inside of the home, unless there was painting to do or something needed fixing and dad could do it (otherwise it was call Frank the Plumber, Andy the Dryer Repairman, Mr. Washington who hauled trash, or Mr. Johnson the Carpenter).

Today, things are a bit different in many homes. There is an absence of fathers in a lot of homes where children are being raised by a single parent. There are many homes where a father may have died, or where parents have separated or divorced and parents have remarried creating situations where children may grow up with two sets of parents, each set with a stepparent. There are many homes today where a parent has to work more than one job and that leaves little time for family outings, or vacations, or even time to share a meal or watch a television program together. But those situations don’t necessarily mean that a father, or fatherly influence, can’t be present in a child’s life today.

When celebrating Father’s Day, we are not just celebrating a man’s siring of a child. The real celebration is what happens after that child is born. We celebrate the love, the commitment, the dedication, the protection, the care, the feeding, the raising and the teaching that a man gives to the children in his care. That man may be a natural father, a stepfather, a foster father, an adoptive father, a godfather or a dad. The day of celebration is Father’s Day, but maybe we should be saying, “Happy Loving, Committing, Dedicating Caring, Feeding, Raising, Teaching, Male Person in My Life Day.”

It’s a matter of semantics I guess. It’s a term, a word, a title, I guess, but today we celebrate the same person, be it a father, an adoptive father, a stepfather, a foster father, a godfather, or a dad. It is any man who has dedicated himself to being a part of a child’s life, raising them and loving them, be they their own, or loving them as if they were.

What are the two greatest gifts beyond love that a father, dad, etc. can give to their children? Many would have different answers. Mine, I would say, are themselves and time. A father gives of himself in showing his children how to do things. He shares his knowledge of tools, of “how to” activities, of being a respectful, responsible, accountable, productive member of society. He shares his love and knowledge of hobbies, of outdoor activities, of sports, of music, of the arts, of simple fix-it projects, of how to do for others, of how to raise a family and more. He spends his knowledge of school subjects with his children helping them with school assignments and projects, not doing them for the child, but guiding them and talking about the topic with them, showing them that their education is important enough for them to be a part of it with them. Any and all of these things are a part of the father’s self and sharing it with his children will make that child know the importance of learning and sharing those things with their children and grandchildren as well.

The other gift a father, dad, etc., can give his children is time. Time spent with a child is so important and there are times when we are not able to give it right at the time that our kids want it. There are responsibilities that take time away from us that we might have given to our children, but that’s when fathers need to make time, maybe not right at that moment, but sometime close to it, to let that child know that they are important and time spent with them is priceless.

Again, sometimes life doesn’t allot us the amount of self and time we can, or want, to give our children, but whatever self and time can be given, and given to the maximum when we can give it, can make all the difference in the world to the children in our care.

In my readings, I came across a verse titled, “What is a Dad?” but it can easily be titled, “What is a Father, Step-Father, Adoptive Father, Foster Father, Godfather or Dad?”

The verse reads:

“A dad is someone who

wants to catch you before you fall,

but instead picks you up,

brushes you off,

and lets you try again.

A dad is someone who

wants to keep you from making mistakes,

but instead lets you find your own way,

even though his heart breaks in silence

when you get hurt.

A dad is someone who,

holds you when you cry,

scolds you when you break the rules,

shines with pride when you succeed,

and has faith in you even when you fail.”

The words in the verse just add to what a father or father figure can do for the children under their family watch. Sometimes being a good father or father figure is letting the children fall or make their own mistakes, disciplining when necessary and expressing disappointment at times, but also always being there after these happenings occur with a smile, a hug, a kiss, a “proud of you,” and/or an “I love you.”

A father, dad, stepfather, adoptive father, foster father, godfather is more than someone there at the conception of a child. It is what that person does as the child is growing in his or her mother’s womb, and what that person does after the birth of that child. That’s the reason for celebration today. That’s the reason we honor those men who take on that responsibility but don’t necessarily think that it is a responsibility, but rather a pleasure, an honor, a joy, to be able to do. That’s why we say Happy Father’s Day today.

So to my father, Joe X, and my father-in-law, Earl, (R.I.P. Pops and Dad Hamilton) and all the fathers, dads, step-fathers, adoptive fathers, foster fathers, godfathers and those who are the father figures in a child’s life, a very Happy Father’s Day to all of you. Thank you for doing right by your children. God Bless all of you today and always!!