The other day, my oldest daughter and I were talking when all the sudden, she looked at me and said, “Momma, I wonder what you would look like skinny.” She didn’t say it in a mean or mocking way, but rather just as a youngster wondering something.

“I don’t know, babe — it’s been a long time, ” I said with a laugh.

Pregnancy does a number on your body, as I’m sure you all know. Between gaining weight, stretch marks and your bones and organs shifting around, it’s safe to say that your body will not be the same even after you give birth.

I remember after I gave birth to my first kiddo, I was 21 and deeply mourned what I thought of as “my body.” My stomach was stretched out, I had some extra weight on my frame and things just weren’t quite the same. Add sheer exhaustion and a complete worldview shift, and you could say I was a little worse for wear.

I never really got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Even if I did, I don’t think it would pan out exactly the same anyway. As it stands, I’ve tried putting on my jeans from before this pregnancy, and unfortunately, it’ll be a while before that becomes a reality. I started to feel pretty bad the other day and started to let my postpartum shape get me down, but then, a thought popped into my head.

“Think of what your body just did,” a voice said. “You made a whole other person and brought them into the world. That is something to be proud of.”

It is true — I have some new stretch marks and things have shifted yet again, but that’s OK. This baby left her mark on me just like my first one. (I wouldn’t expect anything different from a baby who was born weighing over nine pounds.)

Ladies, I think we have to give ourselves a break. Yes, it is good to be physically fit. It is good to be healthy. However, healthy includes a healthy attitude about one’s self — mentally and physically. I have to recognize that I am not going to magically drop 30 lbs in a week. I also have to recognize that my weight is not the only thing that matters.

My 21-year-old body never came back because I am not 21 anymore. I am not what I once was anymore. Just as now, I am no longer the same as I was 10 months ago. Instead, I am a mother-of-two, welcoming a new life into our lives. My body has housed two babies, labored for hours and endured great pains to make sure they were delivered safely. I have nourished and cared for them with everything I have: I have kissed boo boos, rocked tiny sleepy bodies to sleep in my arms and cradled new life so close to my heart.

I didn’t look like a super model when I did it, but if you ask my kids, I don’t think they minded much. I think they loved me no matter my shape, so maybe I should, too.