Question: I am a bit of a procrastinator and so is one of my children. She is staying up late every night in middle school to finish her work, and it is making her unhappy. Are there any ways to help her stop procrastinating? — Procrastinator

Answer: There are a lot of reasons why students procrastinate. Since your daughter is unhappy, she probably would like to turn things around and get her homework done a lot faster. First, she needs to think about why she is procrastinating. Is it because she simply dislikes doing homework? Is it because she has trouble starting a task? Is she overwhelmed with the amount of work she has to do? Is she so disorganized that she doesn’t know where to begin? Is the work too difficult?

Because she is young, you might help her pinpoint the reason or reasons why she is procrastinating. Then you can discuss possible solutions. Students who dislike doing homework can possibly make it more appealing by listening to music or rewarding themselves in some way for completing their work. Students who simply can’t get started need to choose a start time for beginning their work that can, if necessary, be enforced by their parents. Students who are overwhelmed by the amount of work will respond well to their parents helping them learn to break homework down into short easy-to-accomplish segments. A problem with disorganization can generally be improved by students learning to decide which work will be done first, second and so on. Starting with the easiest assignment works well with many children, as it gives them a sense of accomplishment. It’s a bit of a different story if the work is very difficult for a child. Then a discussion with her teachers is in order.

Here are some things that you can do to help your child. Sit down with her, have her get out her work, and together draw up a plan for selecting the order in which she will do her assignments. Then look over the directions with her and help her get started. Then walk away, but keep an eye on what she is doing. Once started, she is likely to be on the road to finishing her work.

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Question: Every so often, my son struggles a bit with his work in elementary school. Do you have any ideas about ways that I can help him work through a rough patch? — Struggling

Answer: All children need support when they encounter difficulties. If a child has been struggling for quite a while in a specific subject, that is where your efforts need to be placed.

If a struggle is just a bump in the road, there are some simple ways you can support his struggles.

¯ Model how to struggle with a task, persevere and then succeed.

¯ Focus and reinforce your child’s efforts rather than zero in on the final product.

¯ Be sure to celebrate improvement.

¯ Focus on your child’s strengths while working on his weaknesses. Do all you can to focus his curiosity in areas in which he will have success.

¯ Be positive and supportive.

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