During my life, I’ve been in roles that have asked me to teach those in my charge, and I’ve tried to use what was taught to me, and what I felt in my gut, and what I perceived as being right, as a basis to get my message across to my children, students, and athletes. Was I perfect in trying to do this? Absolutely not! Did I make mistakes along the way? You bet I did! But in any situation, it isn’t the mistakes that we made that count, but how we learned from them and moved on, knowing that the road to achieving goals will be marked with bumps and potholes, many that we caused ourselves, but the key is how we admit to them, accept them and, adjust to them and move forward.

Being a part of social media, though in a limited way (I text, I email, I Facebook, but do not Instagram or Tweet), I often times come across a forwarded email, or post, that hits home with me. It’s something I’m impressed with, and think it’s worth sharing as food for thought. They kind of talk about things than might make us all better people. I recently came across one that struck very close to home with me, as it was written by my son, Jon.

Jon’s schedule has him working 12-hour days as a police officer and his schedule entails working three days, then having two off, then two days on, and two off, etc. On one of his two-day-off periods, he was up at 4 a.m. (early rising becomes a habit even on his days off) and he wrote this piece and shared it on Facebook. I thought it was something worth reading as food for thought, so I asked him if I could share it in this forum, and he said yes. His post, which began with a quote he found, read:

“Good men are bound by conscience and liberated by accountability.” Wes Fessler; Amer. Author

“Decisions. We are faced with them every day. Some more monumental than others. At times as simple as what you will eat for dinner, yet others which will change your life, and the lives of those around you. But with every decision made, no matter how big or small, there lies an alternative. Are you always going to make the right choice? Absolutely not, and to assume you are always going to make the correct decision is pompous and arrogant. Greatness should not be measured by the decisions you make, but instead the accountability one takes for their actions. I can accept a man who makes a mistake, but a man who fails to take responsibility for his actions is worse than any mistake that is made.

The world is full of news in which this is prevalent, especially with upcoming elections. Every time you turn on the TV, open a newspaper or scroll through your Facebook feed, you’re almost guaranteed to see someone trying to hide from a decision which has been made. What is this teaching our youth? That when you screw it up, it is better to hide behind that excuse than take accountability for your actions? Where does lead us? I’ll tell you where. It leads us to where we are as a society today, with nobody taking responsibility for their actions.

Now it would be pretty arrogant to say that I have never hid behind an excuse when I made a poor decision. It would be an outright lie, and my point is not to sit here and tell you otherwise. I have made mistakes and hid behind excuses, but there have also been times when I have owned up to my mistakes. And I will tell you that the consequences suffered when taking responsibility were much easier to swallow than those suffered trying to lay blame elsewhere.

But where does accountability start? Growing up, my parents instilled this value in me at a young age. When I did something wrong there was always a consequence, be it time out, grounding or loss of privileges. Discipline. A word that is non-existent in many households today. A word which has been given negative connotations. Where does accountability start? It starts with discipline.

When “not so little Johnny” makes a decision which lands him in jail, or dead, we as a society always want to blame the system. “Johnny was such a sweet kid, he would never do such a thing.” “He didn’t even have a gun.” “There is no way he is in a gang.” Well to be blunt, how the hell would you know? The sad truth is that most parents have no idea what their kids are doing. So how can you make excuses for Johnny when he winds up doing something he shouldn’t? Unfortunately, I am starting to believe it is because the parents want one of two things: 1) They themselves don’t want to take responsibility or, 2) they are looking for a lawsuit. The latter of the two is a whole separate can of worms I will choose to avoid at this time.

Accountability is a value which is necessary for success. For success of individuals, and success of a nation. It begins at home, at a young age, and extends all the way to our nation’s leaders. For all you parents out there, I implore you to teach your children the importance of accountability. It is only when we take responsibility that we truly learn from our mistakes. “I can live with mistakes, mine and those of others, but respect only comes from owning up to those mistakes, and finding a way to learn from them.” Jonathan Lombardo

Agree or disagree with his words, they’re good for discussion. It may be things that Jon has seen on his job that may have spurred his thinking of (and writing of) these words. It may have just been insomnia and lousy television choices at 4 in the morning that made him sit and think about things, or maybe it was what he was taught by his teachers, coaches, and/or police academy instructors during his life that made him realize that accountability is a huge part of being a productive person, not being someone who looks for an excuse and hides behind it, or compounds it by blaming others for his/her own behaviors.

When Jon played ball, he and others on teams on which he played, were taught that if you make an error, and are asked what happened, the coach only wanted to hear, “I booted it.” Too often, with some, the reason was like, “It took a bad hop,” or “The sun got in my eyes.” Those are excuses. Everyone in a game, and in life, makes errors and/or mistakes. It’s a part of life. The key is how do we react, adjust and move forward?

If you’re caught speeding, even if it’s just 5 miles over the limit, it isn’t the officer’s fault that you got stopped. If you don’t do your homework or don’t do well on a test in school, it isn’t the teacher’s fault. If you make an investment and it falls through, it isn’t always the company’s fault.

Things seem to come in threes. The building blocks of education have been reading, writing and arithmetic. Many religions profess faith, hope and love. In the Declaration of Independence, we’re guaranteed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Maybe re-emphasis on responsibility, reliability, and accountability, and holding true to these values might help. Food for thought?