Many myths still exist about sexual assault. Quite often these myths place the blame on the victim. These myths are just that, myths, and understanding that may help recovery. Bottom line – you are not to blame for what happened to you!

Myth: It’s easy to spot a sex offender. They are creepy and have shifty eyes.

Fact: Sex offenders come from all walks of life and ethnic backgrounds, sex, and age. Do not let your guard down, first impressions can be misleading.

Myth: Individuals who commit rape are mentally ill, psychotic and cannot help themselves.

Fact: Very few perpetrators are mentally ill and/or out of touch with reality. Rapes may be carried out by acquaintances, intimate partners, family members or strangers.

Myth: If the victim wasn’t drinking too much, then the sexual assault wouldn’t have occurred.

Fact: Alcohol is a weapon that can be used to control victims, therefore becoming helpless. An assailant, as part of their plan, may encourage the victim to use alcohol, or find a person who is already drunk. Therefore, alcohol is not a cause of rape; it is one of tools that is used.

Myth: Rape is caused by an individual’s uncontrollable sexual urge or desire.

Fact: Rape is an act of power and control, not sex.

One of the biggest myths about rape is that it happens out of a person’s sexual desire. Many people have sexual desires, but they do commit sexual assault.

Having this mindset can cause us to blame the victim due to the thought that the perpetrator cannot help themselves. Sexual assault is not a “crime of passion” where the perpetrator “loses control.” Rather, sexual assault is about power and control.

Myth: If a woman agrees to some degree of sexual intimacy, she wants to have sexual intercourse.

Fact: Any person has the right to agree to any degree of sexual intimacy they feel comfortable with at that moment, and to not go any further if they decide not to. A person may feel comfortable with one kind of sexual activity but not wish another – or she may decide she’s not really ready to proceed any further. Any

Myth: Husbands cannot rape their wives.

Fact: Rape occurs whenever sexual contact is not mutual, when a person’s choice is taken away.Any man who disregards a woman stating “no” is raping her. Whether married, in a long term relationship, or a one – time encounter, NO means NO.

Myth: Women claim rape to get even with men.

Fact: Although it happens occasionally, false rape charges are one of the least reported crimes, nationwide.

Myth: It is ok to pressure or talk someone into sexual activity.

Fact: No, this is not ok. This is the crime of coercion. Coercion is a tactic used to intimidate or trick someone to have sex with him or her without physical force.

Myth: If a victim does not fight off her or his perpetrator, then it cannot be called rape.

Fact: It has been shown, in some studies, that women who fought back were more likely to be injured by their attacker. Just because a victim does not fight back it does not mean the sex is consensual. In circumstances where there is also a threat of extreme physical violence then it may be safer for the victim not to fight back.

Fear of one’s life, or disfigurement to oneself or a loved one can immobilize anyone. Always remember, the goal is to live through the attack.

Myth: Men cannot be raped.

Fact: Men, both heterosexual and homosexual, can be and are raped usually by other men. One in 6 boys are victims of sexual assault before the age of 18.

Myth: Sexual assault can be the result of miscommunication or a mistake.

Fact: Sexual assault is never a mistake and should be treated for what it is, a crime. Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact obtained without consent through the use of force, threat of force, intimidation, or coercion. When someone says “no” or is being forced into having sex without their consent then without a question a sexual assault has occurred.

It is important for victims of sexual assault to understand that no matter where they were, what they said or did, what they were wearing, what time of day or circumstances they were in, they are in no way responsible. Perpetrators commit sexual assault out of a passion for control and dominance of another human being.

The Chautauqua County Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault would like to encourage the residents of Chautauqua County to join in our efforts to promote community involvement about an issue that affects all of us. We are a unified group that works to coordinate a countywide network to address the needs of those affected by interpersonal violence – provide education, support and assistance to all in need.

If you or someone you know is a victim of sexual assault, or if you would like more information on local resources and services available, please contact Project Crossroads at 483-7718, The Salvation Army Rape Crisis Hotline at 800-252-8748, or Family Service of the Chautauqua Region at 488-1971.