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When I’ve consumed a lot of fluids my body tells me it’s time to visit the lavatory.
It’s a simple concept, listening to what your body tells you you need to do. I don’t want to mess myself, that would be embarrassing.
I think this is why potty training is so difficult.
We’re on our fourth student, the last of his class, and he’s falling behind in his studies. His predecessors, I remember a few bumps in the road, but never this bad. The one time our oldest flunked resulted in some footprints in the classroom, an experience I’ll never forget thank God we were renting that facility at the time.
The second and third students were pretty easy. I don’t have any horrific moments to recall, the sort that turn my dreams into nightmares.
Our last pupil, however, doesn’t seem to care that he’s failing miserably. We’ve tried tutors, guide books and even some motivational sing-a-longs. Nothing.
He’s a free-wheeling student, this one, and I think that’s his problem. He has no shame that he’s failing, I think he’s getting a kick out of it. What does he care? Someone is going to give him a new sheet of paper if he scribbles all over the one we just gave him. If he wants to express himself he’s going to, whenever and wherever he pleases. Maybe he’ll grow up to be an artist.
I know he’s going to graduate eventually, No Child Left Behind, right? But darn it all, I thought all my students were going to skip grades and graduate early. Paper is expensive these days I’m tempted to buy some sort of paper I can recycle for him to scribble all over, again and again until he gets it.
And he’s a troublemaker to boot; the goofball in the class. He knows he’s the nonconformist, provoking us with his hand signals to tell us he’s filled out his paper and ready to turn it in for a new sheet. He uses his desk as a playground, constantly taking it apart so he doesn’t have to sit. I’m running out of paper and patience.
I know we don’t want our kids to grow up too fast, but darn it, this one needs to graduate and graduate soon. We don’t rent anymore and I’m worried the school janitor is growing tired of cleaning up.
To the Class of ’16 hopefully.