How important is one’s self-esteem? Does our self-esteem help determine how one’s day will go or how one may problem-solve? How does our self-esteem affect our functioning and our ability to perform everyday tasks at work or at school?

For those with a high self-esteem, these are questions that you may have never asked yourself. However, for those living with chronically low self-esteem, they find themselves struggling with the answers to these questions daily. Children, adolescents and adults alike may find it hard to make it through the day to day activities that so many of us do with little thought without thinking negatively of themselves or the tasks that they have performed. Today, we are finding that our country’s population is suffering from low self-esteem that is derived from many outside factors and has the potential to affect many facets of our life.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-esteem is defined by, “A feeling of satisfaction that someone has in himself or herself and his or her own abilities; a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities.”

A person with low self-esteem may be very critical of themselves and have a very difficult time seeing or pointing out their positive qualities. Those who suffer from low self-esteem may blame themselves for things out of their control, may refer to themselves in negative terms and may also give credit to luck rather than their own hard work.

Low self-esteem has been proven to be caused by a variety of experiences and influences. The process in which one develops a low self-esteem happens gradually over time and is a different experience for every person. Disapproving adults who provide a lack of understanding, praise and warmth towards a child are often times the cause of low self-esteem in children. These adults, who may have set very high standards for their child, may be very critical at times making the standards unattainable for the child in question. Living in a constant financial hardship may also be a cause to low self-esteem for children, adolescents and adults alike.

A child’s home is not the only place where we begin to see low self-esteem develop. A considerable amount of time we begin to see low self-esteem emerge when a child reaches an age where peer-influence and peer-opinion begin to matter. All too often, children seek the approval of their peer group and when acceptance is not received, the result is sometimes detrimental. At this developmental time in a child’s life, we begin to see comparisons made in terms of body image and academic performance, resulting at times in a child’s negative self-image of themselves that directly affects their self-esteem. Children who have been a victim of bullying are also more likely to have a low self-esteem.

Individuals who have been witness to the above mentioned factors, may be experiencing adverse life experiences. Children with low self-esteem may suffer with academic performance due to their lack of confidence in themselves. In adults, we may see low self-esteem manifest itself in a lack of or poor job performance due to an individual’s lack of confidence in themselves. Those with low self-esteem may feel that they are not worthy of meaningful life experiences, including intimate relationships with others.

Frequently, mental health concerns begin to emerge in response to low self-esteem. Those who suffer from low self-esteem are more likely to suffer from depression and/or anxiety. Low self-esteem and mental health can be thought of in a cyclic pattern; in instances where depression is present, low self-esteem fuels symptoms and emotions associated with depression. In turn, depressive symptoms fuel negative self-talk, negative self-image and a lack of confidence one may have in themselves. The cycle repeats itself, creating greater depression and even lower self-esteem.

What can we do to combat low self-esteem on our own? Be kind to ourselves! Begin by identifying all of the positive qualities we possess and things we are good at. Instead of criticizing things we’ve done poorly, identify tasks that we’ve completed and praise ourselves for the things that we’ve done right. Build relationships with positive people and surround ourselves with those who support us and build our self-worth. Stop comparing ourselves to others and practice good self-care. Instead of telling ourselves that we can’t do something, tell ourselves that we can do something using positive self-talk.

Some individuals find that they are just unable to attain a healthy self-esteem on their own and they need assistance to do so. For those that find themselves in need of help, intervention from a third party may be the answer. There are multiple agencies in our area that can offer assistance to individuals who identify themselves in need of help and/or support, including Family Service of the Chautauqua Region, Inc. Agencies like Family Services of the Chautauqua Region can assist not only individuals, but help family, friends and partners understand an individual’s need for support. For more information on scheduling an appointment please call 716-488-1971.