Question: I have been taking care of my spouse for sometime, but recently we seem to need more help. My kids help when they can, but I am overwhelmed. I don’t want to add stress to their life. Where can I turn to get information and maybe help with the care?

Answer: As you may remember I have been answering this question over a number of weeks. There are many ideas to cover that can help in this situation.

There are a variety of ways you can get help. We talked about resources you have available, and agencies/people whom you can get advice, direction and help. We have discussed bringing help into the home in an informal way, like help from family and friends. We reviewed bringing in formal help, like a Home Care Agency or a paid companion.

This week we will be talking about Adult Day Programs. Adult Day Programs arrange for the individual leaving the home and going to the program out in the community. This alternative would have the person requiring care attend a program of their choice a number of days each week. The Day programs usually run from approximately 8 or 9am until 3 to 5pm. The Adult Day Programs in our area are numerous and each one is a little different. These are; Chautauqua Adult Day Care Centers, Inc (four sites in the county), Lake Shore Family Center (Irving) and Comfort Today (Jamestown). I will talk a bit more about them.

We are very lucky in Chautauqua County as there are many programs to choose from. Chautauqua Adult Day Care runs four sites now, Dunkirk (366-8786), Present Center in Jamestown (665-4899) Taft in Jamestown (664-9759), and Westfield (326-6842). Chautauqua Adult Day Care has a website www.seniordayprograms.com. The programs operate Monday thru Friday. The Taft Center offers a Saturday program, which is an additional day of programing.

There is also Lake Shore Family Center in Irving (934-2353). This program is open Monday to Friday, 7:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. This program is intergenerational. There is a Children’s Day Care Center at the same site so many activities are intergenerational. This situation is very unique and can be a wonderful opportunity for your family member.

There is also Comfort Today, run by Tanglewood Manor (338-0500). This program is on Gifford Ave. next to Tanglewood Manor, so collaborating with activities and locational benefits is an added feature.

All of these programs offer different settings in different locations so to make this opportunity the best that it can be.

I personally like Adult Day Programs as a way of providing you support and helping the most. I have found that often as we age, our world gets smaller. What I mean by that is that individuals and couples find that they go out less and see others less than they used to. You may stop attending the clubs you belong to as often. You may stop attending church on a regular basis, because of the weather or other concerns. You may stop having friends over for dinner because no one likes to drive at night. There are lots of reasons this can happen, but it happens gradually. Soon it can feel like you see only your spouse and very few other people. What I love about the Adult Day Programs in our area, is that they increase both your activity level and your socialization.

When we worked outside the home, we saw a lot of people each day. As we retire and age, that contact group usually shrinks. This Day Programming will increase your spouse’s contact group. Your spouse will have individuals they meet and become friends with. They also may reconnect with friends whom they have lost touch. This Day Program also gives the caregiver a needed time away, a designated amount of free time each week. This is time you can run errands, gather with friends or simply take an uninterrupted nap.

I also like the fact that the individual who attends the Day Program has something to talk about at the dinner table. When houses are full and families gather at the dinner table, there is usually discussion about the day and all that happened. When you seldom leave your home, you don’t have as much to talk about at dinner. This Day Program gives you stories to tell, and friends to talk about. The individual has something that only they know about and can tell you!

When I talk about this idea with couples and families, very often they are not quite sure they like this idea. They think that it may be too much travel. They are concerned about it not working. I will tell you that many more times than not, attendance at a Day Program is a very successful relationship. At first it may seem like too much effort, or not something you want to try. I simply ask you to try it for a month. You don’t have to go everyday, maybe once a week, twice a week or maybe five days. Choose a schedule that works for you. Then commit to trying it for a month and then discuss how it worked or didn’t work.

I would strongly encourage you to contact a program that is convenient to you and schedule a visit. This can be just you, or you and your spouse. Why not give this a try and see if it helps you the way I have seen it help others in your situation.

Most of these programs also have a caregiver support group or services that you could join if you felt like you wanted to. They definitely have staff available that will help in more ways than I could mention here. I am just so glad to see you reaching out for help. You are doing a great job and asking for help simply allows you to keep doing a great job.

To contact Janell Sluga, GCMC with questions or concerns, please call 720-9797 or e-mail her at janells@lutheran-jamestown.org.