Trending
We live in a highly competitive world and sometimes we get caught up in that competitiveness we've created in our own minds at the expense of our own perspective, our own sense of reality and our own happiness. It's a part of that thing called "Keeping up with the Joneses." This syndrome sometimes turns us into that which we aren't. It sometimes causes us to try to live above our means to maybe try and impress. Sometimes it causes us undue embarrassment, just because we don't want to make it look like we might not be able to afford what someone else might have. Sometimes our judgment gets clouded by what we think we don't have at the expense of relishing that which we do have. Sometimes, maybe we should heed the lyrics of The Zac Brown Band song "Chicken Fried," when they sang:
"It's funny how it's the simple things in life that mean the most
Not where you live, what you drive or the price tag on your clothes
There's no dollar sign on peace of mind, this I've come to know
So if you agree, have a drink with me,
Raise your glasses for a toast
To a little bit of chicken fried
And cold beer on a Friday night
A pair of jeans that fit just right
And the radio up
I love to see the sun rise
See the love in my woman's eyes
Feel the touch of a precious child
And know a mother's love"
Ideally, the simpler things that we do have should be, and really are, more valuable in the long run, than the things we think we want, just maybe because others have them. Bad news/good news situation though, this is a self-imposed affliction and one which is self-curable as well.
Because there's an insatiable desire felt by many, myself included at times, to want more than we have, that's not necessarily always a bad thing. Wanting to better ourselves, or our lives, allows us to set goals for ourselves and work toward those goals. That gives purpose to what we do, as long as that purpose doesn't consume us, and we realize that it's okay if we don't quite reach the entire goal. I'd like more money -- wouldn't we all? I retired nearly 10 years ago. I knew I had to work in retirement, which I've done, to the point where I've worked about 80 percent of some school years, prompting many to ask me why I retired in the first place. Difference is retirement was at the beginning and still is life on my terms, which is a goal of retirement, to be your own boss, live life on your terms, dictate your own schedule, as much as possible. As stated, I worked about 80 percent of the first five and a half of my retirement years substituting, (I've have scaled back some over the last three plus years or so), but have done it in classrooms I chose to enter, in situations in which I chose to be, and sometimes I've taken half days, and sometimes I've taken full days. I've been able to move around from school to school, classroom to classroom. I have chosen to limit myself to middle schools and high schools, and though I used to accept assignments in a few of the elementary schools, I've pretty much decided to stay mainly in middle and high school situations. I also chose to offer my services to the Catholic Academy of the Holy Family before they closed. I did this because Holy Family was my son's school for 10 years (pre-school through eighth grade.) and it was very special to Sally and me. This is not to say I don't like the elementary schools, but I'm content with those schools I've chosen and seem to be getting an ample amount of work in them. One day I might be in high school math, one day in middle school physical education, one day in seventh grade science, or eighth grade social studies. The variety is great. So even though I am working in my retirement, I'm doing what I choose to do, when I choose to do it.
At the beginning of subbing, I didn't want to do much because I didn't want people to think I needed the money. Guess what? I DID (AND STILL DO) NEED THE MONEY! My retirement check each month is great, but since I've retired, gas prices have fluctuated, health insurance has multiplied faster and greater than extremely fertile rabbits, food prices have risen, medical costs have gone up, utilities have seen cost increases, not to mention those surprise car and home repairs which pop up when you least expect them. I now live on a fixed income and the term "fixed income" means just that, though for many it has changed over these ten years. For me it's actually gone down to cover the costs mentioned and the increase in taxes which have risen and are taken out of my retirement each month. (And yes, I do go to concerts and sporting events, and take trips to see our children, but do so sitting in the cheap seats, staying in cheaper hotels/motels, and inviting ourselves to stay at our kids' homes and eat their food.)
Now, I know some often criticize the retirement pension of educators, when many think we never worked full-time, and we had too many days off, and received way too many benefits, and now have too high of a retirement plan. First of all, if I were told I would have had to work a hundred more days a year, I would have done it. If I didn't get those holidays and extra days off I would have been in school then, though on many of my days off, including most snow days, I was often in my classroom anyway. Also, I was a member of the Tier 3 Retirement group, where I contributed to my own retirement (Social Security) for about two-thirds of my career, so some of what I am receiving now is my own money.
My point here is not to argue for educators, their pay, their benefits or their retirement. Rather, it's to get all of us to check our egos at the door and be the people who we are. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses, the Smiths or the Whomevers, just to try and put on airs and impress someone. Don't run up the credit card trying to one-up someone. Don't be afraid to tell someone, "No, I just can't afford it." There is certainly NO shame in any of that.
That doesn't mean you still can't have or do things. It just takes some planning ahead, some extra work, some fancy budgeting, some sacrificing, some prioritizing, some realizing what your means are and staying in between the lines. You'd be amazed at what you really can have, and do, if you do that. Be happy with what you have for there are far many who do not have close to that. Put the people in our lives first, before the "things." Instead of trying to be better than the Joneses, let's just try to be the best Lombardos, or Whomevers, we can be.