Woman Seeks Reconciliation After Betrayal Ends Friendship
DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, someone I thought was my best friend betrayed me. I had developed a relationship with a married mutual friend. My best friend felt it was her “right and duty” to out us to our spouses. The affair ended and both of our marriages survived, but our friendship did not.
She has now tried to contact me wanting to be friends again. While I do miss her friendship, she did not have the right to do what she did, and she has never acknowledged that what she did was wrong. Should I step up and be the bigger person and accept her friend request or ignore it? — AT A LOSS IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR AT A LOSS: Being self-protective won’t make you a smaller person, only a safer one. If you would like to welcome back into your life a person who betrayed your confidence — by all means open the door. I sure wouldn’t, but then again, I’m not you.
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DEAR ABBY: I have a boyfriend (18) who is a dreamer. He doesn’t really consider reality. At 16, I am a realist. I love him to death and we are very happy, but I often come off rude when I give him reality checks when he’s trying to be romantic and sweet.
I love that he’s romantic, but I’m afraid of his romantic ideas because I know they are too good to be true. Then again, I’m afraid of him not being romantic and losing himself. How do I learn to accept his love as love and not as a threat? How do I not come off rude when I feel he’s not being realistic? Please help me, because I don’t want to lose him. — ROMANCE DILEMMA
DEAR DILEMMA: Because you’re a realist, allow me to point something out. There’s a saying, “A fish and a zebra may fall in love, but they can’t live together.” You may not want to lose your boyfriend, but the odds of this romance becoming something permanent aren’t great because you think so differently. For the time being, when he’s waxing poetic about his dreams for the future, keep your lips firmly sealed instead of shooting him down.
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DEAR ABBY: I work in an expensive store that closes at 9 p.m. Clients often walk in here two minutes before we shut the door and spend 20 to 30 minutes inside before leaving. We employees still have to clean after they leave and, after eight hours of working, we just want to get home to our families. Shouldn’t shoppers be considerate and refrain from coming in if they know they will be here past closing, or does it not matter? — JUST WANTS TO GO HOME IN DELAWARE
DEAR JUST: It would be nice if shoppers were more considerate, but part of being in high-end sales is customer service, even though not all of the patrons are as thoughtful as you would like them to be. I’m sure your employer feels these individuals should be catered to, and part of your job is to make them feel welcome regardless of the time. It may not seem fair, but business is business.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Good advice for everyone — teens to seniors — is in “The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It.” To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)