Last article, my client, Cliff, slowly assiduously weaved his path through a nebulous consciousness. He revealed a struggling marriage, a pendulum swing of his wife’s broad outlook on religious and political subject matters. His waning love has effectively survived at least five years. Sleep, once an element of good health, has been impacted. He offered little else on functional components and its experience.

Welcome, again, Cliff. How do you feel given your revelation? “Well, I left your office spent. I went to my office and actually took a nap on my couch. I didn’t answer the phone. It was dark when I awoke. One message from my wife questioned my location. I called her, told her that I was working. I offered nothing about therapy and our discussion. I gathered myself and went home. She brought home a pizza and we ate silently together. She went to bed and I sat up watching an old movie before retiring to bed.” How do you feel now, Cliff? “I feel lonely, empty. I feel like I’m losing my marriage, even myself. Yes, I think about my kids, grandkids, friends, and work. I realize that the woman that gave me a healing, I can’t get her out of my head. Sounds crazy, don’t you think?” Rather than crazy, Cliff, you have an inroad, insight into your disturbance. “Yes, I’m lost for love; that special love, recognition, and touch from a woman. Every time I see her in that church, she smiles. My head is spinning. I know that some folks are just plain friendly, maybe friendly to everyone. Maybe that’s the merits of that church. Someone can be themselves, even warm and friendly. Still, I can’t get her out of my head.”

Where do we proceed from here? Are you stuck, Cliff?

“Yes, I guess so. Uh, oh! Are you directing me towards marital counseling, sir? “Now that you mention it…possibly. What do you think, Cliff? “No way, I have visions of flammable psyche destroyed. I mean, she’ll blow her cork. She already walks heavily with her opinions that I oppose. Oh, man. I don’t know what to do.” Cliff guffaws-:”‘Hey, maybe I can approach that woman from the church and offer to run away together. Think she’d be up to a spontaneous move?” I wonder as you describe matters, Cliff, if it would be more spontaneous combustion. “Oh, boy.”

“You know, I don’t really have any direction. Funny, professionally, I act as a consultant aiding businessmen. With my home problem, guess you, sir, are my consultant. Pretty cool, I’d say.” So, Cliff, if marital therapy doesn’t feel right for now, what other direction do you want to take? “I don’t know, you see, when I met my priest, he objected to any thought of divorce. He provided biblical references to reinforce his position. Dominick was a bit more comforting. He entertained faith-based couple counseling. I objected vehemently. That’s when he pointed me to work with you.” Now what? “I feel like I’m facing a dilemma. Come clear about my struggles with my wife or suffer in silence. Or perhaps, do my thing and fantasize about that charming woman.” I think you have a clear idea of your problem. I think, also, that something else might be ticking I say that intuitively. “What do you mean?”

I wonder what drew you to the church you’ve been exploring. Though you don’t say so directly, I wonder if you’re in the throes of a spiritual revelation. “What do you mean?” I mean that as the years pass in marriage-partnerships, we grow. We grow mind, body, and spirit. Something drew your attention built on years from your church to this new one. I wonder what it offers to you. A nice smiling woman, who offered a healing might only be chapter one. “Huh?”

Cliff, do you ever ask yourself about a transition, perhaps temporary or even permanent from your forever church to this new church? A new discovery and a kind woman combine for more exploration, especially internally, Cliff. What do you think?

“Wow, I went for help to two religious men, both nice guys. But I didn’t get satisfied. I come see you, a secular therapist, who talks about spirituality. What a gas.” I want to encourage you to pursue elements of spirituality that this new church or any other church and its people might offer. Here’s a curve ball to you, Cliff. Maybe you can consider introducing yourself to the woman who gave you a healing. Ask her to direct you to learn more of interest. I’m sure they have a library and folks who might offer discussion, exploration of the self. Maybe it’ll aid you in sleep. “Wow, you’ve given me lots to consider. Good consult, Sir.”

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.