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The Relativity Of Relatives

Photo by Susan Crossett

Not too long ago — but then again, who can say what “long ago” really is? Much less “not too long ago?” Perhaps that’s Mr. Einstein and some of his relativity.

ANYWAY … I planned to write about the efforts of a group of young men working to extend their (if not our) lives into infinity. Meddling with DNA and/or building riot/bomb-proof shelters for those able to afford such luxuries.

It struck me as obvious that all the people struggling with these projects were themselves now young. Seems to me as we age we stop, as they say, to smell the roses and to enjoy life as it’s been given to us. Would these people stop even if I could tell them their minds will change with time? Correct me if I’m wrong — please — but I know no one of my generation who’d opt for eternity on earth if they could have it. That brass ring isn’t all it’s hyped up to be.

Oh, please don’t get me wrong. Like everybody else I’d be delighted to live as long as I’m blessed with health — mental and physical. That can’t be guaranteed, of course, and even if it were, with aging comes the painful burden of having to say goodbye to more and more.

So live forever? No way!

Out walking in the yard one day I practically stumbled over the roots of a grand old tree. I returned with camera for this tree seemed determined to hold on with all the growing power allotted to roots. Happily, its upper parts still seemed in excellent health. With luck it may outlive each and every one of us.

With that tree still in mind, I thought of our roots. Genealogy.

My dad spent much of his 93 years searching futilely for his ancestors. Now a granddaughter has shown interest. And of course with computers — to search but also to make record-keeping so much simpler — we are able to learn lots quickly.

I was curious if the histories of my antecedents would give me a clue as to what lay ahead for me. I have a friend whose family has many living members reaching toward one hundred, if not beyond. I’ve definitely lived long enough to see that become not-quite-but-soon-to-be commonplace. My parents knew few who celebrated a 50th anniversary. Now, couples reach 60, 70 and more, sometimes in amazingly robust health.

Although I knew my daughter had computerized all the information she has on our relatives, I was still amazed to get an entire list in the next day’s mail. Her records go back to 1748 on one side, 1770 on the other.

My father, it turns out, though always unwell, stretched his happy life longer than anyone else on the chart. His father and mother (82 and 89) were right up there too as was his paternal grandmother at 77. The average age on Dad’s side was 74, the youngest dying at 35. I remind myself these are all direct ancestors so those who died without children don’t pop up on the chart. But eight of the 13 who made it were all in their 80s or more when they died.

My mother’s side didn’t fare as well with an average among the 22 listed of 70 years. Just three made it into their 80s with “T.M.” the only one to each 91. And he was born in 1771! Just think of all he got to witness!

So where does that leave me? How am I feeling today? Well, my cold hangs on a bit but, other than that, darned chipper.

A study from the University of Chicago states that those born in the autumn months (Sept.-Nov.) have a better than average chance of living longer than the norm. They suspect the cooler fall months might be responsible for fewer seasonal infections so less stress on the newborn. (Personally, I’d place my bets on those born in the spring; that’s got to be easier on the moms. But fall luck? Hey! I’ll take it!)

Realistically, nobody knows what tomorrow will bring. All the more reason to treasure today.

I’m not sure family history is any better guide than reading tea leaves or one’s palm. Just a game and games are fun and keep us happy and alert. Hmm, I wonder if my tree with all those roots plays games. I’m sure it relishes its surroundings as do I.

And isn’t that really what it’s all about?

Susan Crossett has lived outside Cassadaga for more than 20 years. A lifetime of writing led to these columns as well as two novels. “Her Reason for Being” was published in 2008 with “Love in Three Acts” following in 2014. Both novels are now available at Lakewood’s Off the Beaten Path bookstore. Information on all the Musings, her books and the author may be found at Susancrossett.com.

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