Friends Add To Woman’s Grief By Not Being There For Her
DEAR ABBY: I’m a retired woman living in a condo complex that houses mostly seniors. During the eight years I have lived here, I’ve always participated in several monthly social events, and have served on the condo association board. I know most of the other residents and count many of them as friends.
A couple of years ago, my dad moved in with me so I could care for him. The early evening he passed away, there were many emergency vehicles. Shockingly, not one of my neighbors came over. The police wouldn’t leave me alone, and it took a while for another relative to get here. The next day, a neighborhood representative called to ask me what had happened.
Am I right in feeling hurt that my friends didn’t care enough to check on things right away? They knew my situation. — HURT IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR HURT: The reason many people would stay away from a scene like you describe might be that, because a lot was going on, they didn’t want to intrude. Before jumping to conclusions about why your friends didn’t contact you immediately, ASK them why they didn’t and give them an opportunity to explain.
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DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for seven years. It’s the second marriage for both of us, and I’m getting ready to retire.
I do our laundry. She works very hard in her profession, and I do it because I enjoy the feeling of a job well done and doing something nice for her. However, my wife refuses, in spite of my repeatedly asking, to turn her clothes right-side out before putting them in the laundry basket. It takes me at least 30 minutes every wash day to correct her clothes before washing.
This is an ongoing annoyance. Her response usually is, “If you don’t like it, don’t do my laundry!” Am I asking too much? Is her habit so ingrained that she can’t change it? — HUSBAND IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM
DEAR HUSBAND: Many people wash their clothes inside out because they think it gets the garment cleaner or they’re afraid that washing the items right-side out will cause fading. Between you and me, I think your wife’s suggestion is a good one. Let her wash her own clothes for a while, and you may find she becomes more cooperative.
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DEAR ABBY: My nieces send me pictures of their children on every occasion. I love them, but I don’t understand why they think I want prints. I’d rather view them online. Is there a way I can tell them without damaging our relationship, or must I continue to keep my mouth shut and throw the photos into an ever-growing pile? — AUNTIE-PIC
DEAR AUNTIE-PIC: It should offend no one if you “suggest” that you would love to view these lovely photos online rather than have your nieces “go to the expense” of printing and mailing them to you. Then cross your fingers and pray they take the hint.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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