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Succeeding With The Grit Factor

Elizabeth Cipolla

Life hits hard, and it will keep you down if you let it.

Throughout my life, I’ve recognized that I’m not necessarily the smartest person in the room. During middle and high school, I was never invited to walk the stage at awards ceremonies recognizing honor roll students. When teachers were called upon to identify honor society candidates, my name didn’t come to mind. If my school administrators were asked to identify high potential students to participate in developmental programs for future leaders, I wasn’t thought of. I wasn’t the team captain or the teacher’s pet.

To say that knowing I wasn’t perceived as anything too special by the influential educators and coaches in my life didn’t affect me would be a lie. In truth, feeling overlooked downright hurt. As a child who struggled with ADHD, it definitely fed into the inner doubts and feelings of unworthiness that plague all ADHD sufferers. What a difference it would have made to me early on in life, if a coach or teacher saw through my non-stop chatter and seemingly disinterested demeanor, which served as a mask for the noise, and insecurities that clouded my mind. But they didn’t. It seemed that all of the developmental energy was directed towards those who fit the mold of having outwardly high ambition, competitiveness, drive and focus.

Feeling overlooked and told I wasn’t good enough is what shaped who I came to be as the successful woman I am today. It taught me how to dig deep and rely upon myself for inner strength beyond comprehension. I learned how to step up to the plate, fail, be told no, dust myself off and try again. I was able to discover how much stronger I was than most of the people around me. Whatever I pursued may not have always come easy, but knowing I had the drive and passion to work twice as hard to do it anyway fueled the fire that was growing within me. It was intoxicating.

I vividly remember my deep sense of pride when I began to grasp the unstoppable force within me. While others were unraveling at the seams upon receiving a bad grade, or not getting the lead in the school musical, I remained stoically strong. In fact, at the time, after some self-reflection about my newly discovered inner strength, I began to find ways to push the edge out further so I could really test my limits. I began to actively seek goals that terrified me just to see what my breaking point would be. What I revealed, is my ability to stay upright and keep trying while my mind found a way to break through every obstacle thrown at me. I didn’t know it at the time, but my “it” factor was that I had grit.

Grit is something that is talked about often, yet the essence of it remains elusive. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, grit in the context of behavior is defined as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit.” Sometimes it is strong, and sometimes it weakens. Yet, the depth of true grit is based upon how consistently you can access, ignite and control it from within.

As a talent development executive, I get the privilege of working with seasoned and emerging leaders representing numerous industries. Throughout my career, I’ve been blown away and inspired by those who have realized the highest levels of success through their relentless demonstration of courage, endurance, optimism and resilience. In fact, it is frequently these gritty individuals who sustain high levels of leadership influence over their perfection-seeking counterparts who often struggle to stay afloat in the face of deep adversity. Grit bubbles up to the top of other factors that are the biggest predictors of sustainable success.

Grit is the success quotient that is too often overlooked and difficult to pinpoint. Yet, it is surprisingly simple to nurture.

Whether you are a business leader, teacher or coach, the principles of nurturing grit remain the same. It all begins with the realization that you have the privilege and responsibility to develop those who can benefit from your influence. Anyone can have a big title and tell those “beneath” them what to do based merely upon their positional authority. Nurturing grit is a higher level of leadership demonstrated by those who are truly great at developing others.

If you want to nurture grit which leads to success, remember the SIT acronym:

STOP directing and start coaching. Manage your own anxiety and let go of your need to take a command and control approach which only squashes independent thinking or self-confidence.

IMPERFECTION is vitally important. When you constantly intervene in an attempt to prevent any chance of failure, you’re also preventing an opportunity to gain wisdom from mistakes which leads to learning.

TRY again. Rein in your own need for perfection and get out of the way so they can try it themselves. When they fail, let them determine what adjustments to make so they can try it again. Stay quiet and be ready to help while serving as their biggest advocate for success.

How are you nurturing the grit from within your employees, students or athletes?

Elizabeth P. Cipolla SPHR, SHRM-SCP is a leadership communications professional specializing in the areas of leadership training, creative recruitment strategies, employment branding, professional development and executive coaching for over 15 years. Her leadership experience comes from various industries including marketing, mass media, apparel, education, manufacturing, aerospace, nonprofit agencies and insurance. To contact Elizabeth, email her at elizabeth@catapultsuccess.com.

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