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Working Mom’s Secret Weapon

Elizabeth Cipolla

Each month, my business column will offer insight into a career topic specific to women in the workplace. The name of this monthly feature is, Career Talk For Women.

This feature is geared toward any woman who actively strives for higher levels of professional fulfillment, and the men who care about them. It’s no secret that the world needs more women who are shamelessly confident in their ability to serve as role models and change agents. Our region is no exception. This month will focus upon the under acknowledged network of people who serve as the sanity safety net for working mothers.

Before I even race out of the door to start my day at the office, I’ve already put in at least two hours of the weekday behind-the-scenes daily prepping routine in order to make sure my family and pets are ready for their day. Once I race out to my car and pull out of the driveway to start my office commute, the next chapter of my work-before-workday routine begins. This is when I call in my secret weapon of reinforcements.

During my drive time, I call upon my sisterhood of fellow mothers to work through the countless details that go into all of the behind-the-scenes action it takes to keep my family afloat. As I have these hands-free phone or voice-activated texting conversations safely from my car, we are all able to confirm critical details for the activities our children have in common, and coordinate carpooling arrangements. Without them, I would be toast.

Regardless of title, salary or industry, all working moms share a connection that provides a deep level of comfort and support. We trade similar stories and empathize with each other’s trials. When we are on the brink of feeling defeated, we share solutions. Amidst the constantly challenging and rarely predictable pace we maintain together, we serve as a brainstorming network to figure out seemingly impossible solutions and swap reminders about upcoming school project deadlines.

As a working mother, our lives are altered in a way that is difficult to articulate and impossible to understand until you are living it. Here is a small glimpse into my world. Amidst the obvious pace of meetings, conference calls and workshops that comprise my typical day in the office, some not-so-predictable decisions pepper my weekly grind as a working mom. This week, I’ve had to make sure our arsenal of Nerf weaponry was fully stocked for an upcoming battle with my son’s friends; coordinate transportation for the busy social calendar of my three children and their upcoming weekend plans; confirm that I’ve done my part to provide supplies for a teacher recognition event sponsored by the PTO; sprint to the mall so I could get the proper attire for my son’s music concert; RSVP to multiple kids’ party invitations; finalize plans for the upcoming travel soccer, baseball, and softball seasons; register my children for their summer activity programs; book hotel accommodations for my daughter’s dance competitions; scramble to reschedule important work meetings so I could stay home with my sick child, and complete last-minute tasks for an upcoming vacation.

When you are thrust into the reality of maintaining a career and raising a family, the toll can be huge. It took me a long time to realize that it’s impossible to try to do it all alone. Whether you are a single mother or married to a supportive spouse, many of us have been raised to believe we should be able to work, birth and raise children while working and running a family without asking for help or uttering one complaint. In fact, when we break down to ask for help or vent our frustrations, we often become stricken with guilt and shame.

The only way to maintain your mental and physical energy without risking eventual serious burnout is to ask for help. Once I opened my mind to this notion,

I couldn’t believe the huge network of other mothers who were eager to be a part of my reciprocal support network. Together, we proudly admit that we can’t do it all alone. We’re laughing in the face of the impossible quest for perfectionism that has historically plagued women; especially working moms. We all ‘get’ each other in a way that no outsider could possibly grasp. Together, we have each other’s backs and tirelessly help one another to stay afloat amidst the build-up of sheer exhaustion from years of uninterrupted sleep and an ever-expanding laundry list of things to do.

Watch out world. There is a new breed of mothers who are proudly standing united. We can’t do it all. We are proud. We won’t feel guilty. We will conquer this chapter together and help those who are struggling to find their way as new members of our network.

Elizabeth P. Cipolla SPHR, SHRM-SCP is a leadership communications professional specializing in the areas of leadership training, creative recruitment strategies, employment branding, professional development and executive coaching for over 15 years. Her leadership experience comes from various industries including marketing, mass media, apparel, education, manufacturing, aerospace, nonprofit agencies and insurance. To contact Elizabeth, email her at elizabeth@catapultsuccess.com

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