Melly’s Law

I’m sure many of you are familiar with “Murphy’s Law” which typically states, “anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” We’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives. You wake up and it seems the moment you step out of bed your day is doomed with unforeseeable circumstances beyond your control. Lately I feel like I’ve adopted my own version of misfortune which I have now termed “Melly’s Law.”

Last week my day started off like normal: I hit snooze on the alarm, forced myself out of bed and stepped into the shower. I began my lather and slowly started to wake up and enjoy my moment of morning serenity, only to be interrupted by an alarming burst of what can only be described as the devil’s hiss scalding my body. It’s rare when my downstairs neighbor and I are on the same shower schedule, but when we are I’m immediately reminded why it’s a blessing and a curse to not have to pay the water bill. I quickly rinsed as fast as I could while stepping in and out of the stream of water, trying to give my body a quick break from the hell I was enduring just long enough to rinse the shampoo from my hair and eyes. Once I was out and my body temperature adjusted, I tried brushing the knots out of my unconditioned hair and proceeded to get myself ready for the day.

I picked up a new client and had meetings scheduled all morning to recruit employees at a facility off-site. The manager was gracious enough to let me take over his office while I conducted my interviews. Unfortunately, not a single candidate showed up. Maybe it was a feeling of defeat, but as I went to pack up my things my clumsiness set in. As I unplugged my laptop I knocked down a sign on the wall which then crashed onto the manager’s desk, ricocheting his safety glasses and hard hat into the garbage. Once I found sanitizer wipes to clean those up, I then managed to knock my bottle of water over and dumped it all over the floor. As I searched for a towel, my boots managed to make footprints leaving a trail of dirt and embarrassment throughout his office. Once I pulled myself (and the room) together, I darted out as fast as I could, afraid of destroying anything else in my path.

I drove back to the office, but once I arrived at my exit the road was a nightmare. “Pothole City” I like to call it. There was no avoiding the treacherous terrain I had to drive over to head back to work. Just when I thought I was in the clear, BOOM, I hit the deepest pothole out there and figured I did some damage to my car. Once I arrived at the office, I checked my car but everything still seemed intact. When work was finished, I headed to the gym to clear my mind. Minutes into my workout on the elliptical I reached for a drink, only to have liquid surge from the opening and splash my face and douse my eye and shirt in water. I was still running on the machine while this all happened and didn’t want to break my stride. I proceeded to blink uncontrollably trying to flush the water that was currently causing blindness in my left eye. As I looked up, the new guy in the gym smiled at me, presumably thinking I was flirting while I was simply trying to control this mini disaster that was unfolding. Eventually I gained vision back in my eye and continued with my exercise routine while drenched in my drinking water.

Once I left the gym and finally made it home, I shut the door and let out a sigh of relief. I told myself I’m safer not leaving my apartment until Monday. And then, there was a knock on the door. My neighbor wanted me to know my bumper was currently hanging halfway off my car. I went outside and it appeared the pothole I hit must’ve snapped off a connecting piece and it had just now come loose. With some resourcefulness and a few zip ties, the repair was made and “Melly’s Law” had officially ended for the evening.

I know my day could’ve been much worse and am grateful my bad luck is usually just a clumsy cycle of “Melly’s Law” that only affects me and I’m sure one day I will look back and laugh. The next time your day seems hopeless and full of unfortunate events, remember there is always someone else out there experiencing their own “Murphy’s Law” and maybe your awkward winking attack could brighten their day.